Yesterday Terry and I suffered a second miscarriage. I was 6 weeks along. I was going to wait till my first trimester was passed before we told anyone but now the circumstances have changed. We are both doing fine and are keeping busy as to keep our minds off of it.
I'm extremely sad but I'm also VERY pissed off. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!!?!? WHY AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO HAVE A CHILD? IT'S NOT FAIR! CRACK WHORES AND HOOKERS GET KNOCKED UP ALL THE TIME LIVE THE WORST KIND OF LIVES AND STILL HAVE BABIES THEY DON'T EVEN WANT!!! WTF! And why is it everyplace I look it's baby this & baby that. I feel so inadequate as a woman. I feel worthless. I see all my friends and family having these beautiful babies and I'm so jealous (in a good way).
This one was due on Oct. 12, my dads birthday. We were hoping for a Oct. 18 delivery because it would have been half way between my dad's b-day & Terry's dad's b-day, Oct 24. I so wanted an October baby. It's my favorite month. I was gonna throw the best Halloween B-day parties. We plan on going to PA in July and I was gonna be all big (like 6 1/2 months). I was gonna take a picture of my growing belly every week. I was finally gonna make my parents Grandma & Grandpa & my brother Uncle Clint.
I keep trying to look on the bright side but the truth is right I don't give a shit about the bright side.
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4 comments:
Sweetie I am very sorry for your loss. I know you just need to keep trying, even though it is painful. I can not say there is a bright side, but there is certainly hope.
You be mad and upset all you want!!! I am there for you all the way - I will even say it online - what the fuck? We love you both so very much and will always keep positive energies flowing for you!!!! ILY
So sorry!I know it feels bad now.Gotta keep hoping for better days to come.Lov you
I so sorry, Heather! I don't have any thoughts or words to make you feel better. Have you asked your doctor if there could be other factors as to why you're not able to carry a baby to full term? My mother-in-law had 5 or 6 miscarriages; she carried every single one of them to 6 months or full term. Turned out she had some problems with her thyroid. Once they fixed that she had 2 healthy baby boys. One at the age of 36 and the other at 39. So, there's hope, my Dear, there's hope!
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