Happy Halloween!!

As some of you know I am a Pagan. I'm not a Wiccan. I don't practice witchcraft nor do I cast spells (not really anyway). I DO NOT worship the devil (I don't even believe in the devil). I don't drink kittens blood or sacrifice chickens. I certainly don't dance naked under a full moon or anyplace for that matter. As a Pagan, in very simple terms, I don't believe in one all powerful being (God) I believe in a God & Goddess in equal parts. The God "rules" over Fall & Winter. The Goddess, over Spring & Summer. There cannot be one without the other. I won't bore you with details. If you would like to know more there are countless website to peruse.

I will however give you Pagan Sabbat (holiday) lessons.

First Lesson:

SAMHAIN (aka Halloween) - Cross-quarter day - October 31/ November 1
Death, the third of the Harvest holidays, the ending of the cycle, death, but with the hope of rebirth and the New Year.The traditional time for the annual slaughter to ensure food throughout the winter months. Take this time to remember departed ones. In some traditions the end of the year . The separation between this physical world and the spiritworld is thin. Halloween customs are a part of this element of death, the thin line at this cycle and remembering the dead and the hopes of rebirth. On this night Magick is more powerful .

Halloween is my very favorite holiday. Although this year you wouldn't think that. I've done nothing. I just have been in no mood.

Anyway. Thats your first Pagan Lesson.

Happy Halloween & Blessed Be!

Another Weekend, Another Adventure!

The weather has turned colder now (Woo Hoo) and the Rains of the Pacific Northwest have not started yet so we thought we would take advantage of the nice weather. I don't have any good hiking shoes yet so I really didn't want to take on a trail but I really wanted to get outdoors. There are lots of rivers and creeks in the mountains and so we thought we'd go walk a riverbank. I don't know the name of the river but it sure was pretty. We saw a bald eagle but I wasn't quick enough to get the shot. We think it's so cool how you can be doing almost anything and see awesome wildlife. Oh...we also went to a salmon hatchery (Terry's idea). So here are a few pics for ya!

Baby Salmon. I never got a good shot of the big ones.

Our "signature picture". We take this shot every time we do something new.

Terry showing me diving technique.

Me trying to convince Terry I'm the queen of the mountain!

Just a nice shot of us and the background. I love Fall!

Ahhh. It was a nice day. My feet and ankles hurt a bit 'cause the bank was VERY rocky. I can't wait to get my new shoes!

WARNING: May get a little graphic. Sorry it's my blog! *:P raspberry*

On a little more personal note the miscarriage is starting to takes its toll! Normally a woman will bleed for about a week or so after but I had what's called an incomplete miscarriage. It means that my body didn't clean everything out at one time. It's taken for ever it seems like! It's been almost 3 weeks since it happened and my body is still not finished. I almost feel like Mother Nature is kicking me while I'm down. "Sorry you don't get to have this baby and oh by the way you're gonna be "out of commission" FOREVER!!! HAHAHAHA!!" And what makes it the worst is that because my cervix is still open Terry and I can't.....you know... because "IT" may cause infection. It's been rough, let's just say that! With all this taking so long it makes it a little harder to get past. I'm okay and we are looking forward (to say the least) to trying again, but I just want it to hurry up and be done already!

Granite Mountain

With the holiday season upon us I'm a lot busier at work than normal. That gives Ter time to do all the "Difficult" hikes that I don't want to do. He's so cute! He's slowly accumulating all the proper hiking gear for us both. New shoes (Keen), backpacks (Camelbacks), shirts (polyester), coats (Northface). He says things like if you really want to be a North westerner you need to do.....insert what real North westerners do here! I'm pretty sure that's why we bought the Subaru, Lucy. Anyway here are a few pics from his latest hike to Granite Mountain.

Starting to go above the cloud line.

The Fire Tower (the top). Still like a mile or so away.

Twin mountain lakes.

The view from the tower. (pieced together from 3 pics)

The tip of Mt. Rainer.

On the way back down.

The poor guy is feeling it today! (hehe) His legs are so sore. I know he would have it no other way!

Wha'd ya'll do Saturday?

I went and saw me some royalty! Queens & Kings!!! So my boss Trae's boyfriend Orlando is a Drag Queen and he invited me to a show. It was awesome! One of the best shows of any kind I've ever been to. Naturally I took pictures. So okay just so your informed Queens are men dressed as women, Kings are women dressed as men.

The Kings

Orlando (aka Paloma)

The Other Lovely Ladies

The above queen who's name escapes me had her 30th birthday yesterday. Her Mom and brother were in the audience. In the picture on the bottom left he's singing to his mom! It was so cute!

My friend Donna came with me and she got pulled to the stage for a game. The game was see who could blow a condom up the largest. Donna popped hers. The guy next to her won!

A Drag show is defiantly not for everyone. (Terry didn't go) but if you have no problem with releasing your inhibitions you must go to a Drag show!!

Whatever will be will be

Well I don't have a lot to report on today. I think more than anything I want everyone to know that we are fine. We are both looking very forward to getting back into the swing of things. Unfortunately we can't try again until I have 2 normal cycles. (menstrual cycles). So it will be about Jan when we can start again. It would be awesome if I got pregnant in JAN cause than I could have a OCT baby! Maybe even a Halloween baby!! We'll see.

So I'm going to a Drag Queen show on Saturday! I can't wait! My bosses boyfriend is a queen, and I must say he is a smoking hot chick when he's all dresses up! Looks a little like Jennifer Lopez. I will of course be posting pics of that if they turn out.

Anyway all is well here. I have my sad moments but life goes on and I'm not a dweller. If it's meant to be it will be.

A sad day

Well it was confirmed today. I have suffered a miscarriage. I was 9 weeks along. The lady who did my ultrasound said that all my girlie parts look fine and that this was probably just a simple miscarriage. 1 in 4 women will have at least one in their lifetime. As a matter of fact ALL of the women I've talked to about it (ladies bringing their kids in for pics) have had at least one. One women had had 4! And has 4 kids!! My age was not a factor. Nor was it anything that the doc could find. It happens and chances are that our next pregnancy will go off without a hitch. I'm just glad to know that I can even get pregnant.

Terry and I are fine, a little sad but fine. We have made our peace with this. Life goes on and as soon as the Doc says okay we will be trying again!

I'm sorry I'm not telling each of you personally, I just really don't want to talk about it. I hope you understand. Typing about it once is much easier than saying it over and over.

Terry's Brain

For those of you who know us personally you are aware no doubt that Ter-Bear has a brain condition. No not that, Doofus-ism is not really "condition" per say. A real condition. He has an AVM:

"Arteriovenous malformations (AVM) are masses of abnormal blood vessels which grow in the brain. They consist of a blood vessel "nidus" (nest) through which arteries connect directly to veins, instead of through the elaborate collection of very small vessels called capillaries. Some people are born with the nidus, but as the years go by, it tends to enlarge as the great pressure of the arterial vessels can not be handled by the veins that drain out of it. This causes a large collection of worm-like vessels to develop (malform) into a mass capable of bleeding at some future time."

Well 2 1/2 years ago he had gamma knife surgery (a non-invasive radiation surgery) to correct the condition. A process that takes a few years to see any real results. Well we are please to show you all now before and after pictures of Ter's brain. Know that the AVM is not gone but it is decrease in size by a good bit. He may have to have another surgery in the future to completely get rid of it but looking at the new picture makes me feel very optimistic that he will someday be with out the AVM.

Before

After

Before

After

Before

After

Now I know that this may not look like much to ya'll but aside from the fact that it looks smaller Terry himself has been feeling better (much fewer "episodes" -the right side of his body would go numb) Woo-Hoo!

Federation Forset

Terry and I are hikin' machines! Well not machines more like novice. Well me anyway. Terry's way more into it than me. As a matter of fact, remember the evil trail from a few post ago? Well while I was in VA Terry went back to it and hiked all the way to the lake that's at the top of the mountain. I have no desire to ever see that damn lake so he "had" to go with out me!

Anyway our latest hike was to Federation Forest State Park. We drove about 50 miles to the world's lamest trail. Don't get me wrong it was pretty but very boring. Not much to see, no real payoff and ya'll know how I'm all about the payoff! The only thing it had going for it was the very old growth,

some gigantic trees,

really pretty fungi,

and the "Hobbit House"

More like a small gnome village really. I guess for years now hikers have been helping to create this little village in the woods. It was very cute. But not really worth diving 100 miles round trip and walking nearly 5 miles. My legs are still killing me. Although I am getting use to this hiking stuff. It makes Terry really happy so will keep at it. Plus it's good for me, too. I want to be healthy for our future kids. Stupid exercise!

Here's a few more pics of the Gnome village. Enjoy.