Still Life with Subgirl

Why 2010 was a Crapfest

2011-04-11T14:25:00.000-07:00

For a while there I was just going to let it go and not blog anymore. Most everyone I know has Facebook now so I saw no real point. But I've decided I need to do some good old fashion venting and I really can't do that via Facebook.

Let me start out by saying that 2010 was, to date, the worst year of my life. I am now in a state of depression that I feel the need to talk about. I'm having trouble moving past it. I am not looking for sympathy. I was completely content to suffer in silence which is exactly what I was doing. That was until this fucking depression started to affect me physically. (I'll get to that later) So now I feel that if I don't get it out and (hopefully) let it go or it will never get better.

Why you ask was 2010 such shit? I had not one, not two, but three miscarriages. Yep! That's got to be some kind of record right? 3 in 12 months. The first one I was 6 weeks, the second was 7 weeks, the third I was 12 weeks. My very first one back in 2008 I was 9 weeks. So that's 4 babies that I will never hold. 4 babies that I have loved from the moment that the lines popped up on that stupid stick, that are gone. 4 grandchildren that our parents will never spoil.

Please understand that I have a good life. I have the best husband on earth. We have a good life. Jobs. A roof over our heads. We are by no means rich but we aren't hunger. I don't ask for much. I never have. I don't want the world I just want to be comfortable and happy in my little piece of it. Terry & I have done some pretty sweet things. More than some people will ever do. Which is one reason I feel so guilty for being depressed. But I can't stop being sad. I HATE THIS!!!

Everyday I wake up and am grateful for everything I have. Then I hear a song or see a baby or a pregnant chick and my wall crumbles a little. Most days I can rebuild but other days it's too much. Truth be told I didn't even realize I was depressed until 3 days ago. For the last 3 weeks I have been suffering from "mystery pain". It seems to come from nowhere last a day or so then move to a different spot. From hip to wrist to knee to a finger to shoulder etc. I have no other symptoms. Except the ones associated with depression. Awesome.

I believe that the first step to me getting over this is to accept that I really have a problem. I have a problem. Fine. I don't want to talk about it I just want to write about it. Please don't tell me that the Gods have a plan or that you know how I feel. You don't and I don't give a shit about Their plans. This is MY life and I have a fucking plan! How you like that?! See, I'm a little angry. I'm working on it.

And before you ask, yes we've been to a fertility specialist and we know the problem. I've taken the steps to help neutralize it. It's a gene thing. I still may never be able to carry a child to term and if I do it may have down syndrome. Of course.

Okay, I'm spent. Until next time.

New Addition

2010-08-17T14:21:00.000-07:00

No, it's not a baby. As some of you know my BFF Stephanie has move in with Terry & I. She has moved from PA to start a new journey in her life. Terry & I, starting July 30, drove to PA to help move her back. And plus I never miss a good road trip! We got to see my brother, The Badlands, Yellowstone, Rushmore, Crazy Horse and nearly everyone else in PA I wanted to see. I did miss a few people but time was short. It was fantastic! 6000ish miles later I've got some awesome pictures to share. Bare in mind this will be a lot so I'm gonna break it down into a few blog post.

So without further ado, PICTURES!!!

Our PA Family & Friends:

Me & my super handsome brother!

Terry's side. My Beloved In-Laws!

All the Nephews

The Kalgren's: Our Surrogate Family

Us.

The Bayler's: Our Long-Distant BFFs

The Badlands

2010-08-17T14:12:00.000-07:00

AntalopeStephs favorite: Prairie dog!Always good advice!

South Dakota

2010-08-17T13:32:00.000-07:00

Steph and her new man. I like him but he's kind of cornie.

Crazy Horse now and what it will someday look like. Maybe!

YELLOWSTONE!!!

2010-08-17T12:27:00.000-07:00

One of the prettiest places I've ever been.

I could go back to Yellowstone over & over!Seriously! No Molesting of Animals!

Mammoth Hot Springs

A baby eagle

A momma Grizzly Bear and her 2 cubs!!

Buffalo

Old Faithful

The Grotto Geyser

The Morning Glory Pond

Elk just chillin' in town

Misc. Road Trippin'

2010-08-17T12:01:00.001-07:00

Steph leaving PA 8/8/2010

There was no "Welcome to Wisconson" sign. Oh I was pissed!

Sunflowers!!

Travel: It's so hard on Hager.

The Devils Tower at Dusk.

We got there to late to see the detail of it.

This is Steph entering WA for the first time. Its blurry. :(

A dirty devil (a dust tornado) is Eastern WA!

We all know its true!

June 12, 2010 ~ 11 years of Mostly Bliss!

2010-06-14T12:11:00.000-07:00

Ter-Bear & I celebrated or 11 year anniversary by taking a nice little weekend "staycation". We didn't have to go far from home due to the fact that we live in one of the most amazing places in the country. (I love the Pacific Northwest!) We drove an hour north and took a ferry west.......

1) The Ferry to Friday Harbor from Anacordas.

2) Our shadow on the water from the ferry.

3) For what ever reason, Square Dancers on the ferry.

......for another hour and ended up in the San Juan Islands. Friday Harbor to be exact. Its a nice little town kind of like Stars Hollow from the Gilmore Girls. I really like it. I love islands though. I would love to live a super simple life like that. Far enough away that from the busy life that things stay quite but close enough that you don't feel isolated. You can drive around the whole island in about an hour. The only real "commercial" place that's out there is a Best Western. It seems like everything else is local. I love that!

Well we didn't want to stay in town because for one the room prices were out-fricken-ragous and two the entire town was sold out. So we were left with no choice but to venture out and we ended up finding the most adorable Bed & Breakfast called the States Ranch Inn. The price was perfect and the inn itself was super quaint and cozy. So much better than a hotel. The owner showed us around and told us to make ourselves at home. And in the morning we had an amazing breakfast of strawberry shortcake, cheese souffle, crab cakes and canadian bacon. I may never stay in a hotel chain again!

It's a working ranch so it had livestock like alpacas, pigs, chickens and I think, horses. We didn't see the horses but we saw their stalls.

So as we were driving around the island we came across some cool stuff. Like silver foxes, red foxes and a camel! We saw about 8 foxes in all which was nuts cause in my whole life I had only ever seen one in the wild. FYI: Silver foxes are simply red foxes with a color variation.

We found a light house with a awesome view of the sunset. The perfect end to our day.

Happy Anniversary to us!

Now if you've been following our blog you'll remember that we have been whale watching once before with no luck.

Here's a link to the first blog if your interested: http://subgirl512.blogspot.com/2008/09/unexpected.html

Well this time I am super stoked to say WE SAW WHALES!!!!!! Orcas! They were beautiful.

Us beginning our journey.

Showing off and we totally ate it up!!!! Suckers!

Most of the pics I got were splashes or fins but these were the best. Unfortunately I did on get the shot of the whale jumping I just got the big splash. The lady who did was nice enough to email it to me. I did see it however and it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

So we saw the whales and headed back with sunburns and elation! I love boats and I'm considering buying one when we make our millions in the lottery! Mark my words!

The End!

Yeah that last post, Nevermind.

2010-06-08T12:48:00.000-07:00

I miscarried. Again. For the third time.

Sooo.....

2010-06-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

About a week ago I was 5 weeks pregnant. I thought I had miscarried, again. But turns out I was wrong. Meet our baby!

I have a video but for some reason the stupid blogger wont upload it. I will work on it!

I've gone back and forth with myself about telling people this early but in the end I decided that Damnit! I want to be happy & excited about this. Anything can go wrong I understand that but this is a very happy thing and I want to share very happy things!

Our First Family photo!!

Hello All.....

2010-03-22T22:01:00.000-07:00

It's been a month since the "shitty thing" happened and aside from the occasional single tear, I am fine. We are fine. Looking forward. I fully intended to take a picture of myself once a week till I gave birth but I only got the one week done. I miscarried between 5 & 6 weeks. Here's the picture: *single tear*

My girls (work) are fantastic. For my birthday (2/24) they snuck over to my house a covered my car with silly string, and filled her with balloons and confetti that was my name! They are so cute. I never heard a thing! And from what they said they were loud. Sara (who no longer works for me) got me a GIANT teddy bear that Pepper (the cat) really seems to enjoy.

Just so ya'll know I have not cleaned my car since they did this and now I have popped balloons and Heather confetti all over my car. Rain took care of the outside!

In the last year Terry & I have not done a whole lot to the house. The weather has gotten a little nicer now and were finally doing yard work. This is what it looked like before:

Now it looks like this:

Right now the bushes are small but they will grow to about 3 feet tall which is perfect! What's the point of windows if you can't see out of them?! The house looks bigger now too! Right now they are in full bloom with these really pretty purple flowers! I love Spring!!

Just an update......

2010-02-22T13:26:00.000-08:00

I just want everyone to know that Terry & I are doing fine. I'm sorry if I haven't answered the phone or responded to emails, but I was just not ready to......I was just not ready. This has been very hard on me. I'm still so sad and angry. I will get over it but right now I'm still not right. I know I'm not the first woman to ever miscarry and I don't believe that my pain is worse than anyone else's. I think what made this so much harder than the first time is that I fell like I let Terry down. I never thought this would be so hard for us. I just assumed we would get pregnant and have kids. I didn't expect to be 33 (in 2 days...happy birthday to me) and childless.

I'm sorry I intended this blog to be an assurance that we were doing ok......we are but its still sucks.

Sad News

2010-02-14T10:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Terry and I suffered a second miscarriage. I was 6 weeks along. I was going to wait till my first trimester was passed before we told anyone but now the circumstances have changed. We are both doing fine and are keeping busy as to keep our minds off of it.

I'm extremely sad but I'm also VERY pissed off. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!!?!? WHY AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO HAVE A CHILD? IT'S NOT FAIR! CRACK WHORES AND HOOKERS GET KNOCKED UP ALL THE TIME LIVE THE WORST KIND OF LIVES AND STILL HAVE BABIES THEY DON'T EVEN WANT!!! WTF! And why is it everyplace I look it's baby this & baby that. I feel so inadequate as a woman. I feel worthless. I see all my friends and family having these beautiful babies and I'm so jealous (in a good way).

This one was due on Oct. 12, my dads birthday. We were hoping for a Oct. 18 delivery because it would have been half way between my dad's b-day & Terry's dad's b-day, Oct 24. I so wanted an October baby. It's my favorite month. I was gonna throw the best Halloween B-day parties. We plan on going to PA in July and I was gonna be all big (like 6 1/2 months). I was gonna take a picture of my growing belly every week. I was finally gonna make my parents Grandma & Grandpa & my brother Uncle Clint.

I keep trying to look on the bright side but the truth is right I don't give a shit about the bright side.

Forks, La Push & Cape Flattery

2010-02-08T14:35:00.000-08:00

Last week was my glorious vacation during which I did almost nothing. That was the plan after all to do nothing. I didn't want to go anyplace which that's very strange since I am hyper sensitive to the condition known a "Cabin Fever". It takes me like 1 or 2 days before I must get out of the house!!! But for 6 of my 9 days of vacation I was content to stay at home farm with Farmville, clean the house and cook dinners. It was like heaven. The Girls at work did so good! They only called like 3 times and they were up in $ for our week. I knew I could count on them.

This past weekend was beautiful. 50 degree weather & blue skies. An oddity here in the Pacific Northwest for winter, normally our rainy season. So Terry and I took full advantage of it. We took a drive and stayed the night on the Olympic Peninsula. We'd been there once before but didn't get to see a whole lot. So this time I had a list of things I wanted to do and by golly we got them all done in a day and a half!

This is my disclaimer: I am not a "Twihard" (a super Twilight fan) and I really could care less about the actors from the flicks. I did dig the books and I think is cool to go places I've read about or seen on TV. So due to the close proximity to Forks & La Push WA I felt I should go.

Let me start by saying that EVERYONE over there is SOOOOOO nice! I couldn't believe it! They are so welcoming to Twilight fans. They've got a few stores, there are signs in all the windows welcoming Twilighters. It's nuts! They want people to come to their tiny tiny town. And let me tell you, they need it. It's like the town that time forgot. Everything is circa 1982. Everythings clean and orderly but old! I loved it there. We stayed at a small little motel called the Dew Drop Inn. (I love that name)

So without further ado, photographs.......

First Beach.....

Snoopy trying to chew his way to freedom!

A really awesome photo op on the mile hike to Second Beach......

Cape Flattery......just gorgeous not Twilight related.

An eagle just because.

Canada as seen from the south shore of the Straight of Juan de Fuca.

Until next time..........

Finally.....

2010-01-04T12:08:00.000-08:00

I want to start off by saying: Happy Holidays & Happy New Year! Sorry its taken me so long to update my blog but this was the first Christmas I was a manager at the studio and it was really busy. I was there so much that when I got home the last thing I wanted to do was blog, farm, super poke pet, fish or zoo! All my poor (facebook/myspace) apps have suffered...*shakes head*. The second thing I would like to say is that if you are family or friend that I personally know and you did not get a holiday card it was simply because I do not have you correct address. So if you have a facebook or myspace page or you have my e-mail address and you didn't get a card please send me your address so I can be up to date. Thanx!

facebook page link: www.facebook.com/heather.millsclark

Myspace page link: www.myspace.com/heatherjeanclark

Please only send private messages. Don't put any personal info on my wall or in my comments.

OK so lets get down to the reason y'all read this blog. Here's our update!

Well other than the fact that I was super busy at work we've had a pretty good few months. Not really exciting but nice & quite. Just how I like it. I'm on a new medication for my stupid diabetes. Its called Byetta and is awesome! It's an injection kind of like insulin but not. I take it twice a day and it keeps my blood at a non-diabetic levels. AND the doc told me at my last appt the they were gonna come out with a Byetta shot that you only have to take once a week!!! Holy crap that's like not even being diabetic! So far I'm doing really well. I've lost a total of 42 lbs so far and I lose about 2 lbs every time I go the doc. I've said for a while now that I'd lost about 40lbs but that was just estimating. I weigh less than I have in at least 10 years! I have a waist line!!! I'm down past my first weight loss goal so I get a new tattoo as my reward. If I reach my next goal I get diamond earrings! I've got a way to go for that one.

My first year as manager of the portrait studio sucked! I knew it would so I wasn't surprised. People (customers) in general can be horrible. And as the manager I have to take care of all the ridiculous issues. "I don't like my hair in this one"(then check the mirror before you leave the house) "His smile looks funny" (then stop yelling at him to (40 year old mom)"Smile less! Smile more! God Emilio (7 years old) you don't understand my "vision".) "The picture is so dark" (I tried to tell you that because you're black, maybe a black background is not the best idea, but what do I know?) "You know we felt rushed" (then maybe you should show up on time for the app you made, not half hour late and expect to get in as so as you walk in....ASS! We do have other customers. You're not our only one!) "I don't like any of these poses" (Well I did try to pose y'all but YOU only wanted standing poses) "She wasn't very good with my kids" (Prison guards would have had a hard time with you little brats. Try discipline, not bribery!) Ahhhh.......good times! I'm so happy that the holidays are over. You don't even know! And just so you know we do have some fantastic customers! There's nothing like someone saying to you "Heather, you can't ever leave this place! Would will make them laugh?" "I only want you, Heather!" Those people make this job worth it.

Terry goes back to work tomorrow after having the last 2 weeks off. (Lucky!) I think the break was really good for him. He took the time off to "learn and master guitar" (its a work in progress) He's doing really well. It sounds like music now when he plays!

We got ourselves a Wii for Yule and we play a lot of Bowling & Mario Cart. Its a pretty cool gaming system I must say. It's the first new one we've bought since we've been together. Fun!

Terry got me a camera. It's great so far. Much better than the little piece of crap I had before. Now taking pics is more fun. I got him Lego's! An airplane & helicopter. He loved 'um! Our Yule was simple and I loved it!

So last night I hosted a party for my girls from work & their significant others. It was such a good time. The Wii came in super handy. This picture below is us. I didn't take it but I love it anyway.

As soon as I get my camera figured out I'll be posting more pics and now that I have a little bit more time I'll try not to go so long between posts. And on that note........Later!

At my Dad's insistence......

2009-11-13T10:20:00.000-08:00

I will be killing two birds with one stone this morning. I was gonna blog about my amazing Tuesday anyway so I mine-as-well "record every detail!!" (to quote my pop)

The company that owns Sears Portrait Studios & Picture Me Studios (the photo places in Walmart), CPI Corp, are doing corporate sweeps throughout the USA, Canada & (I think) Mexico. They are doing surprise visits to studios to make sure "All the Aces are in their Places" their quote not mine. Naturally for the 2 months now that we've known about these sweeps all the studio managers in my district and I'm sure every where have been freaking out! Except me. I was a little nervous sure but in the big scheme of things I knew that my studio would be fine. I was not expecting a win but I knew we would pass. I've said before and I'll say again my team is the Best in the (North)West!

On Tuesday morning (11/10/2009) who should come walking through our door.....Yep Corp! I was in the middle of taking pictures of my studio for my dist. manager with my cell phone when he walked in! I was like "Nice Heather, cell phone on the sales floor". We shook hands and a made a joke, "You Corp?" He said "Hmmm. Am I Corp? I guess I am. You the Manager?" "I am indeed!" I said. He handed me his card, I glanced at it and sat it down. He informed me he was going to look over our photography. I asked if it would be cool if I went about my business or if he needed me to hang out with him. He said he was good so I went to do manager type things. I went to make copies and called Michelle, my DM. "Fucking Corp is in my studio!!" "What?! Who?!" "Ranoldo. Ranato. I can't remember his name. " "RENATO!!!" "Yeah that's it. Is he ok?" "Yeah he's one of the good guys. Don't be nervous, you'll be fine."

I get back to the studio and he was up behind my register where all our drawers are. I assume he went through them but he never said anything. I asked him if he needed me to show him anything specific, paper work, props. No was his answer. I was kind of bummed because all my stuff was nice and in order waiting for inspection!

At this point he starts asking questions that I won't bored you with. We walked around the studio with him taking pictures of EVERYTHING!! Pictures on my wall, the front counter, my sales station, my cameras, he must have taken a hundred pictures! Some of the things we do at the studio aren't "corp approved" things. I have pictures of my girls on the wall, we don't use flip charts we use price sheets, bla bla bla. So he's looking at these things and I'm thinking "Crap! I'm gonna have to take this stuff away." HE LIKED 'UM! Even said "This is a good idea, I'm taking this back to corp!" (Thanks Trae!) He dug the picture of my girls.

Finally were standing up at the front and he asked "What do you think as a company we could do better?" I preceded to tell him just what I thought. "These $7.99 coupons are kicking our asses, the online appt. scheduler sucks, other than that it's cool!" "Oh and since I have you here maybe you can help me. I have a girl would has been, for the last year, screwed out a her raise. And I don't believe I make enough money. I'm not asking for a huge raise I just want what I deserve as a manager." Not in those exact words but you get the point. He's taking notes and listening to every word I'm saying and all in all being a really nice guy, so I say "Well how'd I do?" "I don't have a set criteria, I'm basically looking for good management good crews and well run studios. So Heather I think I'm gonna give you an Award for Excellance! Your studio just won $100! What do you think of that?"

Well let me tell you what I thought! I teared up and hugged him. "Are you serious?!? Oh my God!! Thank you so much!" He took my picture told me to have a nice Christmas and left. Wendy came running out of the camera room and we jumped up and down! We looked like big idiots! I called Michelle "WE JUST WON $100!!!" "YEAH, I KNEW YOU WOULD.....OMG I HAVE TO CALL CHERYL!! (her boss) Then she hung up on me.

I then preceded to call anyone who would answer the phone.

I got home that night and I was telling Terry all about it. He was like "So who was this guy?" I said not sure some field tech I think. No wait his card said Chief Executive Officer." Terry's like "You mean CEO!?!?!" Now before you think I'm stupid just know I didn't examine his card really closely and I just simply had not connected the dots. I hugged the CEO! I talked to him like he was just a random person. I TOLD HIM I DESERVED A RAISE!!!

It was truly awesome! I'm so proud of my studio. And just so you understand what a big deal this is, we are the only studio in our dist, region & market (of like 5 states) to have won yet. And only 11 other studios across the country have won. THE CEO OF CPI THOUGHT WE WERE AWESOME!!!!

Oh and FYI.......I got my raise!

Pumpkins & Home Improvements

2009-11-06T12:27:00.000-08:00

The pics I ment to write about in my blog a few days ago. Opps!

1. The pumpkins we carved.

2 & 3. Same pumpkins just lit up on the porch.

4. Our new dining room table.

5. The work bench Terry built in the garage.

6. A better shot of my haircut. I just liked this pic better than the first!

Meet the Lameos!

2009-11-04T19:13:00.000-08:00

I feel like I should update my blog considering its been FOREVER since I wrote anything informative, but I got to tell ya, there is seriously nothing going on! But I will fill ya'll in on the little things.

As some of you know Terry is learning to play guitar. He's doing quite well! at first it was just alot of random notes and alot of repetition but he's now playing songs and is getting all excited about it. I'm glad he's got a hobby. It brings out the fun side of him.

work is going well for him. He's finally able to work some overtime which is nice. We can always use the extra $!

I myself have nothing going on. I'm working alot (which I hate) so I leave early when ever I can. Although I'm VERY grateful to have a job this manager stuff blows! It will one day look good on a resume but the job itself....not fun! Stupid conference calls every morning, having a district manager who has a pain in the ass regional manager, cranky customers, worrying about what everyone else is up to or needs. I never wanted to give a crap about any of this but now I do. Ba-humbug! I'm just whining. The jobs not all bad. Only sometimes.

I'm on a new medicine for my stupid diabetes. It's called Byetta. It's an injection but not insulin. So far its working great! My blood's staying normal! And its suppose to help me loose more weight! Awesome!

Love the short hair! Very liberating!

Well my beloved Seattle Rains have come. I love rainy weather! It makes me sad when it rains while I'm at work and I can't watch it. No windows at the studio. Everything's so green! I love it here.

I've been missing my Family & Friends lately. :( I wish everyone I loved was here in WA not 3000 miles away. I'm working my ass off to get my BFF Steph to move out here. I think that if I just get her out here and locked in a room she'd stay! We'd feed her and stuff. To all my Kalgren readers help me out! I wish that Jake, Nicole & Will were out here, too. I wish they were all out here. Brenda, Melis & the boys, my Hallmark Girls, Minn. And mine & Terry's families. :(

Terry and I are watching Arrested Development in DVD. Holy Shit is that an awesome show! What the hell is wrong with this country? "So you think you can dance", "the Bachelor", "American Idol", mindless shows like that are going strong but great shows never make it! WTF?

Well I hope that catches ya'll up. Until next time........

Wicked: Awesome!

2009-10-06T19:20:00.000-07:00

I can't explain to ya'll how much I love Broadway Plays! A few years age Terry and I saw The Lion King in Norfolk VA (Broadway Across America) and last Thurs we saw WICKED!! It was amazing! If you haven't read the book you should.

That's all for now!

A Slight Change

2009-09-30T08:17:00.000-07:00

Out with the old look.....

In with the new!!

Neither are great pics but oh well!

So my Mom yelled at me......

2009-08-24T20:09:00.000-07:00

......"you haven't posted a blog since July!" Well this is true and to be fair nothing blog worthy has happened since my last post. I really don't want to be obnoxious and post every other day about random nothings. This is not Twitter and I have no desire to go there. Well not a lot is still happening but I'll update my loyal readers anyway!

I have lost roughly 40lbs! I look awesome if I do say so myself. I still have a long way to go till I'll be satisfied but I'm proud of myself none the less! My diabetes is under control for the moment and I am still not on any insulin. Insulin makes it harder to lose weight so I want to get closer to my goal before I go on it. However, I was given a choice by the doc. He said "either you go on insulin now and continue to try for a kid (I'll have to go on insulin when I get pregnant) or wait till we get you on it to start trying again". I have decided to put it off for a few months. Like 6 or 7 months or until I reach my goal weight. I want to be as healthy as possible and loosing weight will only help me be healthy.

Terry is learning to play the guitar. He's really enjoying himself. I love that he's doing this.

Boeing had "Friends & Family Day" yesterday and I finally after 2 years got to see inside the worlds largest building. No pics unfortunately. No cameras aloud. But let me tell you this it's like a small city! It even has streets!!! Like 747 Lane! There were bikes and golf carts! You can't really imagine how big planes are till your standing underneath one. Crazy! I got to sit at Terry's desk. It was the first time in 10 years that I've been able to see where he's worked. He was so excited to show me everything. Let me tell you my ass was tired when we were done. We walked around for 4 hours and still didn't see everything.

Terry and I got our pictures taken for the first time in like 6 or 7 years. Professional pics I mean. I thought it appropriate that we get pics for our 10 years ann. I'll post a few here but just know that most who read this blog will be getting some with their holiday cards. If you not sure if you'll be getting one but you want one let me know and I'll make sure I don't forget you!

This is a picture of me & my girls at work. Since Trae abandon use last Jan. we had still not taking our group picture down. So finally we took a new one.

Well that's that.

Lookie, Lookie!

2009-07-19T19:28:00.001-07:00

Pictures! Terry, me & our friends Aaron & Sara made our way to the Olympic Peninsula last weekend. Here are some of the highlights.

The Olympic Game Fame in Sequim WA (rhymes with swim):

Some of the bears are former circus bears.

The deer have clowns in them too!

A Rhino with a crazy horn!

We also visited Hurricane Ridge.

Oh Yeah.....

Our 10 Year Anniversary Trip: San Diego

2009-06-29T12:36:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhh...I have to say it is good to be home even if we did have a wonderful time on our trip. But ya'll don't want to read about it. So with out further ado, pictures!!

Us at the......

A mommy & baby Koala

Giraffes, Terry's favorite!

2 Humped Camels (cause one hump is just never enough)

California Condor. 2nd largest wingspan in the animal kingdom! The first being the Albatross. Thank the "know-it-all" kid next to me for the tid-bit of trivia.

One sleeping Panda

A Hungry, Hungry Hippo

An adorable Baby Gorilla

Some Flamingos (the little grey one's a baby!)

And my favorite....The Rhino! Ain't he cute?

Ughh Los Angeles.......

2009-06-29T12:11:00.000-07:00

........sucks! Hated it there. Will probably never go back. Too many people and there all trying to sell you something. You know for having one of the most famous landmarks on the planet you'd think that there would be a well marked, easily accessible place to see it fairly close. Well you'd be wrong. I just wanted the hell out of LA! There were a few thing to see so we hurried the hell up did 'um and got out!

Me in front of the "Charmed" house (1329 Carroll Ave. Los Angeles) From the show Charmed!!

The Le Brea Tar Pit

Grumman's Chinese Theater

This pic was very zoomed in!

Highway 1, Santa Cruz & San Jose

2009-06-29T11:55:00.000-07:00

We drove the coast as much as we could because I ,being a water sign, am very drawn to water. Big Sur is so amazing the ocean cliffs, the crashing waves.....Heavenly. There were quite a few interesting things along Hwy 1. We also made stops at The Santa Cruz Mystery Spot http://mysteryspot.com/ and the Winchester Mystery House http://www.winchestermysteryhouse.com/ Both very cool.

Some very friendly (& hungry) Squirrels (Like my coat? Terry hates it!)

Elephant Seals

My Favorite picture from the whole entire trip! Terry's gonna hate this! tehe

Big Sur

Mystery Spot

The Winchester Mystery House

San Francisco

2009-06-29T11:36:00.000-07:00

Let me just start out by saying I really do like the city and fully intend to go back. However I was disappointed in it. Nothing seemed to go right. Couldn't see the Golden Gate Bridge well due to fog, couldn't go to Alcatraz (the part of the trip I was most excited about) because it was sold out, little things we wanted to do were foiled for little reason bla bla bla. But we did get to see a few family friends while we were there and that was wonderful. They showed us around and took us to local haunts. Good times. All in all it was nice.

Lombard St. Curviest road in the world.

Alcatraz. Sadly only from the mainland :-(

The Famous Pier 39 seals.

The house that the Grateful Dead lived in on Ashbury St.

Shannon & Jason, our tour guides, in front of the row houses near Alamo Park.

The Golden Gate Bridge

The Redwood Highway

2009-06-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

This was without a doubt the prettiest forest I've ever been in. I just knew that Fairies were going to pop out! And the size of these trees is incredible. Being around trees that are 1000s of years old in humbling to say the least.

Me in the Drive-Thru Tree in Legget, CA.

Us in a stump

Terry in a fallen tree

Terry standing next to that same fallen tree

Paul & Babe

Well I hope ya'll have enjoyed our vacation. This is the first real vacation Terry & I have had ever. We've gone place and done things but most of the time we've been with family or Terry had to work. This was our first "Just Us" vacation and it was wonderful.

I'm tried of bloggin now I'm gonna stop but just remember kids.....

Newport, OR

June 12, 2009

2009-06-12T23:05:00.000-07:00

8 days till our vacation!!!!!

Today is Terry & my 10 year anniverary. 10 YEARS!! Holy crap. We've been together 14! You know sometimes the time seemed to drag on but we've made it to 10 and I still love him. I love him more acually. 10 years. Wow. What did the Fates bestow on us on our anniverary you ask? Well our hot water heater busted of course. Not a real big deal we cought it right as is happened. so crisis averted. And the Penguins won the Stanley Cup Finals!! Hell Yeah! First time since 1992. They spanked the Redwings!

This past weekend we went to Spokane to visit my Cousin Jeri and her family. My Aunt Melodie & Uncle Dewey were there too. Jeri and her long time boyfriend, Bobby got married at the cutest wedding chaple called the Hitchin Post! I would post some pics but I'm not sure how she would feel about pictures of her family posted on line so I'm not gonna. But I will post one of the chaple.

Cute, right? Terry was like "This is how we should have done it!"

Anyhow it was so nice being with my peeps. I so rarely get to ses them. My baby cousin Lindsay is now 18 years old with her own baby on the way! So crazy. We all get the same line: I use to change your diapers. It's almost like a family joke now! My aunt changed my mom's (they're 10 years apart) she changed Jeri's, Jeri changed mine, I changed Lindsay's......... I wish my mommy would have been there. That would have made the weekend perfect. :-(

8 DAYS!!!

Lamest ever

2009-05-28T21:28:00.000-07:00

23 days till our CA Vaca! Just sayin...

So lets see, whats been going on? Well summer is right around the corner and Terry and I are spending more and more time outside which is nice. The weather is so mild here that it doesn't suck the life out of you. That to me was the worse part about VA the insane heat sometimes. And the humidity. I hate humidity. You would think that having grown up in Texas that I would be use to that.....NO!

ummm.....yeah sadly I'm only writing this blog tonight because it had been awhile and I thought I should update. Nothing exciting is going on. Works fine for both of us. We both feel fine. We are going to see my cousin Jeri in a week or so and my Aunt & Uncle will be there. I haven't seen them in a few years and it will be so nice to be around family.

What a lame blog entry. Sorry you had to sit through it.

23 DAYS!!

Little Nothings

2009-05-11T16:11:00.000-07:00

41 days till our vacation. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

I've lost about 20 lbs! Thanks Diabetes!! (sarcasm) Although I have to say, its not near as awful as I thought it would be. I know I need to take good care of my self in order to stay healthy but so far it really hasn't been that big a deal. I've had to change the way I eat...done and not near as hard to do when you really want to change. I started exercising and I feel great. I miss a few things A LOT like Starbucks......pretty much just Starbucks but one of these days I'm going to test those waters to see what happens. My goals are 1) get down to my goal weight 2) get my blood sugar controlled enough to have a child 3) be as healthy as possible for as long as possible. Anyway bla bla bla.

We got our front flower garden finished finally.

Before (a work in progress):

After:

I know everything seems small right now but they are all perennials so they will get a lot bigger and spread out. In front of those two hole looking things on the house we planted Stargazer Lilies that are just starting to sprout. I can wait to see them! We've got Roadies, Violets, Petunias, a few things I cant remember the names of...lots of color when they bloom!

Here is something most people will never see.....They very first 787 ever made and the very last 747-400 that will ever be made sitting next to each other at Boeing. The 747 is green cause it still need to be painted.

Until next time....

A part of my history....gone.

2009-04-24T21:54:00.000-07:00

Although I only worked there for about 4 years the place hold a lifetime of memories for me and most of the people that mean the most to me. The place where I met the man I married, my best friend Steph, my Melissa, Brenda & Lydia. I spent countless, endless nights sitting at H3 smoking cigarette after cigarette waiting for Steph or Terry to get off work. Some of the best people I have ever met I met there. Perkins Family Restaurant & Bakery in Dubois PA has burned to the ground. And although I know that Doug (the owner) will have a new one built by summer time the fact that it's gone makes me sadder than I expected. I really did love that place and I made it a point to go there as many times as I could every time we went home. Some of the people that worked there have worked there 10, 15, 20 years. I can't stop thinking about them. Lisa, Joe, Debbie, Melis. Lisa & Joe are married and they both worked there! What are they going to do while the new store is being built. I like to think that it could be a nice vacation for them, but who the hell can afford not to work right now?

I can believe its gone.

Our Vacation is a gogo!

2009-04-17T13:39:00.000-07:00

Originally we were going to go to Hawaii for our 10 year anniversary, but we decided to put that trip on hold for a few more years. Sorry Lydia. We want to have enough money saved that an expensive trip like that won't put us in the poor house. Well our alternative plan is a road trip! We are going to drive down the west coast. Were going to start in San Diego and make our way home with a few stops along the way. The San Diego Zoo, Universal Studios, The Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, The Winchester Mystery House, The Redwood Forest and any thing else we have time for. We may not hit them all but that's fine. Can't wait till June 20!

More Home Improvements

2009-04-12T13:11:00.001-07:00

With spring upon us we are doing house/yard work. We want to paint the house and we have finally decided on a color we like better than the color it is. Brown is nice but we want something more. Here's how the house looks now:

Here's the color were going for:

We're going to get a new front door with a nice window and a glass screen door. I hate the white door!! Terry just put up the flower boxes. I love them so much! I've always wanted flower boxes. The little area in front of the window will be worked on as soon as it's not raining or we're not sick. The chick that lived here before us had no idea how to garden. There was a jumbled mess in that spot. Soon it will be awesome!

Here's my girl with her snowhawk! I couldn't not show ya'll this picture!

It's not my fault!

2009-04-11T21:17:00.000-07:00

I think the worst part of getting Diabetes was that I had brought it on myself. Bad eating, lack of exercise yadda yadda yadda. Turns out I don't have Type 2 I have Type 1 which is cause by viruses or auto-immune problems. It comes on very quickly and occurs in people below age 40. Normally. I may now have to take insulin but I'm not sure yet. I have a doc app on Monday. Lets see how this plays out!

Stay tuned!

Cabin Fever!

2009-03-26T22:46:00.001-07:00

I love fall & winter. I love the cold, coats, Ugg boots, sweaters, snow (in moderation) the whole thing. However I'm looking forward to getting out of the house and into the mountains or down to the water. I need some nature. I want to get outside and work in my yard. I want to go for long drives and see wildlife. I want to wear my new hiking pants & shoes. I want to take pictures of beautiful things. I cant wait till it's 10:00 pm before the sun goes down. I crave 75 degree weather in July! I miss the hummingbirds and rainbows and flowers. Summers are very short here so the most must be made of them.

Bring on the spring!

It's been a while.....

2009-03-15T21:39:00.000-07:00

......and sadly I still don't have a whole lot to talk about. Last night Terry and I went to another Everett Silvertips hockey game (they lost). It was a surprise for my birthday. I love surprises & hockey! Our seats were right behind the benches and the damn other team stood the whole game so I really didn't get to see much. It was still a good time.

I've become cautiously comfortable in my management position. The Manager Trainer, Terra, was in my studio for 2 weeks and I think I've got it. I'm sure things will come up of course but I think I'll be okay.

On the shitty news front I have been diagnosed with diabetes. Ironically we always assumed Terry would get it. Both his sister & Dad had it. But NOOooOOoo! It's been about 2 weeks since I found out and I'm finally okay with it. Turns out that's why my eyes are being so weird! I've changed my eating and Terry and I walk outside for at least an hour everyday that the weather is good and we walk at the mall when the weather sucks. At this point I'm not on any meds and I'm controlling it with diet & exercise. I fully intend to make good of a shitty situation. Everything happens for a reason.

Our 10 year anniversary is coming in June and 10 years is a milestone in my book. We want to do something big. We're thinking Hawaii, the big island. We have a friend there that we don't get to see often and plus we never had a proper honeymoon. So if you want to donate to the "Terry & Heather's 10 year Anniversary" fund let me know! ;-)

Tada!!

2009-03-02T17:15:00.001-08:00

A near sighted Heather with glasses! Sorry about the blurry. Its a cell phone pic.

Happy Frickin Birthday!

2009-02-24T14:45:00.000-08:00

I turn 32 today. I'm fine with my age. In fact I like being older. You're smarter, wiser and more comfortable with yourself. I wouldn't go back to redo anything. The decisions we have made make us who we are today. I kind of like me!

So why does today suck, you ask? Because for the last week it feels like I'm falling apart. 1st and for most, I need glasses. I'm nearsighted and I'll need them for driving and such. awesome. I pulled my groin muscle.......NAPPING!!! Laid down all was well woke up my groin hurt. (insert jokes here) I have a few other issues I won't get into with ya'll but I feel like I'm falling apart.

On a happier note, I was offered the job of Manager! And I took it. It's official, I'm the boss!

Terry and I "hiked" the other day. It was a paved trail so I don't feel like hike is the right word but whatever. It was about a 5 mile round trip trail and at the turn around point you can see Snoqualmie Falls in the distance.

Here are two shots of the falls (up close) from last Fall & Spring.

I'm off to my pitty party. Later!

Managers, Flowers & Mountains

2009-02-17T19:29:00.000-08:00

I've been "manager" for about a month now and I have to say, I like it! I have more to do, it passes the time quite nicely. I pretty good at it, too. Well, I'm still not officially the manager yet. Something that makes me crazy about Michelle, my boss, is that there is no grey area. I have no problem working Sat. I've said it a hundred times. However at the present time with the staff that I have I CAN NOT work them. I have no one to work days during the week. I don't know how many different ways I can say that. Truth be told I want to work Sat. I miss working with people. I'm all by myself through out the week. I get lonely. She said to me today "You really need to start working Sat. if you want the manager job." Okay fine I'll just leave the store unattended on Mondays! No problem.

I can't remember the last time Terry got me flowers. So imagine my surprise when I came home on Friday (Valentine's Eve) and there were 2 cards (he couldn't decide on just 1) and flowers! I only got him one card. I'm a terrible wife! Yeah right.

I haven't gotten out much lately but rest assure I will be getting out as soon as the weather breaks. I just bought me some hiking pants & shoes. And Terry is stockin' up on hiking shirts and underwear. Trust me that kind of stuff is a good idea. Any how here are a few pics for you viewing pleasure.

The Cascades

A better shot of Mt. Baker.

My dream hovel and The Olympic Mountains.

OOoooo pretty.....

Hiya!

2009-02-07T11:51:00.000-08:00

Ok it looks like my blog will have to suffer slightly due to my new title at work. I get home at night and I have no desire to sit and type for an hour so it looks like this will be a weekend thing. Sorry to all my dedicated fans! Any how work is going well (so far) I'm still not officially the manager yet but the DM assured me that I had nothing to worry about. She did come to the studio and do manager-type things with me the other day. We'll see.

Terry is also working his behind off at work. He worked 53 hours last week. That's not even counting Sat. He's so pooped. Poor guy.

Needless to say we have done nothing fun in two weeks but I do have a few pics for you. 2 Sundays ago we went to Seattle to take a few pics from a spot with a great view of the skyline. We also ate a this restaurant called Beth's Cafe that I saw on a TV show before we moved here. The place is a dive and I loved it. If you want to see it there's a show on the Travel Channel called Man Vs. Food that will be showcasing Beth's (the serve a 12 egg omelet).

It the pictures above you can see both of the volcano's we can see when the sky is clear. Mt Rainier (top) & Mt Baker.

Last weekend we went and saw Ice Racing (motorcycles on ice). It was alright. The most exciting part was the little guy it front in the above picture. He's 4 years old!! Holy crap was he cute.

Until next time......

My First Week

2009-01-30T23:16:00.000-08:00

Well today was the last day of my first week as manager of the Sears Portrait Studio. It was okay. The first day was fine. the second day was a bitch! I was not feeling work that day anyway and then (on my second day) I had a customer tell me that "Trae was a terrible manager, you District Manager sucks and you seem to be following in their footsteps" And then she told me "I will take my business elsewhere!" I was thinking, thank the Gods! Go be someone else's problem. Why do pain in the ass customers think that bothers us? She did call back and said she knew it wasn't MY fault but whatever. I did everything I could to fix the problem. Rules are rules people no matter how you feel about it. And I ain't losin' my job for you!

Anyway the rest of the week went much smoother and I found I kind of enjoy the extra work. This past week was the longest I've worked since we moved here, I think. 39 hours.

However there does seem to be a hitch in my giddy-up. Michelle (DM) called me today and told me I had to take some kind of assessment test to see if I'm right for the job. I think ALL manager "hopefuls" have to take the test. I feel that Michelle really wants me to keep the job. She didn't seem real enthused to make me take the test. So I may not stay the manager for long. Either way. We'll see.

I'm beat. Nighty night.

If I fail I blame all of you!!

2009-01-20T16:49:00.000-08:00

Due to the overwhelming response of "just do it" I am now the manager of Sears Portrait Studio. I took the job for 3 reasons.

1. I like the studio the way it is and I have no desire for some schmo to come in there and start changing things.

2. The girls......my girls now.......apparently really wanted me to do it. They are a really great crew. And everyone I asked said I should.

3. Money. I really just can't pass it up. What kind of douche bag would I be in these economical times to not take a good paying job that has droped into my lap?

Today Trea was trying to teach me thing and I almost burst into tears. Nobody told me that there would be math involved! I suck at math. Trea and Michelle (my new boss the district manager) seem to think I will be awsome at this job. Clearly they are not in there right minds. I'm still not sure how it will end up but if I don't like it I can always step down and train a new manager.

Advice needed! ASAP!!!

2009-01-18T21:55:00.000-08:00

As some of you may know Trae (my manager) is leaving. On more than one occasion I have been asked to fill an authority position. Every time I declined. I just really don't want the headache of being the boss. There are of course pros and cons.

Pros

more money
the chance to put Manager on a resume
having the control
I would have a great crew
things wouldn't change much because I like them the way they are!

Cons

having to deal with all the random crap
being in control
having to enforce rules I'm not a big fan of in the first place.
WAY MORE HOURS
having to clean up messes

I've always been happy being someones right hand. I don't know how I will feel about it once I become the head honcho.

So my question is: "What would you do?"

1:18am

2009-01-10T01:18:00.000-08:00

Here I sit in front of my computer at 1:18 in the morning. I can't sleep. I have a lot of things going through my mind right now and I need to get some of them off my chest.

Trae is leaving. It seems he and his partner have had a falling out. He feels he can't stay here anymore. To many memories. He's moving back to Memphis. In a way I'm mad at him. Why does he have to run away? However I understand. I can't be mad at him. He needs to make himself happy. I want him to be happy. I'm really sad, mostly. I don't want my friend to leave. Damn him!

Which bring me to my next concern. Work. I don't want another new manager. I haven't even been there a year yet and I will have had 3. Change sucks no matter how well it ends up in the end. I'm not getting many hours at work due to low customer volume and I don't know if I should go look for another job in this bad economy or if I should suck it up and ride it out. I will no doubt take the lazy route and stay.

Boeing has announced they will be laying off people starting in Feb. Terry has been assured a number of times by a number of different sources that he probably has nothing to worry about. Great, so I will probably not freak out. I think we will be OK from what Terry has said to me but it is scary none the less.

I'm also wondering if I'll be a good parent. I want to say yes but what if I suck at it. Then that makes me wonder if I really want kids. Truth be told I think I'm terrified that if I have a kid I'll hate being a parent. What kind of person does that make me? What kind of woman? I see kids everyday and I'm all "Awwwww" then I get home and one of the pets won't leave me alone or throws up on something and I'm all "I seriously want kids?" But then I'm terrified I won't have any. To think that I could be a 75 year old woman that never had kids make me very sad. I must really want kids, right?

So here I sit at 1:44 in the morning with tears in my eyes, wondering why the dogs not in bed with Terry and hoping I will fall sleep soon.

Pics from Work

2009-01-03T15:27:00.000-08:00

We had our X-mas party a week ago and being photographers naturally we took pictures. Here they are!

I love my job & all my co-workers but I miss my "Hallmark Hotties". They can never be replaced.

A year end review 2008.....Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T22:48:00.000-08:00

How did we spend our last day of 2008? A Everett Silvertips hockey game that's how! We were in the 4 row right behind the penalty boxes! Awesome!

Let me tell ya....I LOVE HOCKEY!!!!!

If you look in the back all the other players have cleared the ice to let these 2 fight!

3 Red Deer Rebels (from Alberta Canada) in the penalty box.

4 Everett Silvertips in the penalty box!

The final score was 6 to 3 Silvertips.

Ahhh.....hockey.

So Terry and I were talking about how fantastic this past year has been. We have done more in one year in Washington than we did the whole 8 years we lived in Virginia. We bought a house, got pregnant, suffer a miscarriage, discovered a love of hiking, I finally got a job in photography, explored far & wide, gone to concerts, been to a hockey game, whale watched, been to drag queen shows, traveled across country, got to spend a holiday with my parents, and I've probably left out a few things but you get the idea. I was afraid that we wouldn't like it here but it just keeps getting better and better.

Here's to a wonderful 2008 and a blessed 2009!

Merry Christmas to all!

2008-12-25T15:54:00.001-08:00

I wanna talk about the snow for just a second. Yesterday the temp came up above freezing so the ice on the road started to melt. Yippy!! You can see the road. You can drive at a normal speed. I can drive myself to and from work! Sweet. Side note: Terry's car, Lucy, has been hit twice since it started snowing. Not bad mind you but still.

We woke up this morning to this.....

Terry went out to measure and there was about a foot on the ground. I think it has snowed around 2 feet in the last 2 weeks. Just saying.

Anyway, Terry and I really don't have a whole lot of cash this year so we decided to post pone the presents for few weeks. However I couldn't wake up this morning and not have something to open. Can I guess what I got him?

And yes I am 31 years old and love Spongebob Squarepants!

So what?

A few other things. My next door neighbor had a baby boy yesterday. I haven't seen him yet but as soon as they're settled in at home I'll go meet the little guy. And my brother got to spend Christmas with my parents. I wish he'd have come for Thanksgiving I'd love to see my whole family together at one time.

I'm not at all jealous. Merry Christmas!

Be careful what you wish for!

2008-12-21T15:25:00.001-08:00

So it started snowing like a week ago....Yeah it hasn't stopped since! We have had 3 storms back to back. And they say it's suppose to keep it up till the end of the year. I love snow and I'm super glad it's white and pretty outside but come on!! People don't know what to do with themselves with weather like this. This is just so not normal around here. The worst they've seen in 12 years, I hear.

Storm #3 started last night.

We woke up to a fresh new layer (6-8 inches) of the white stuff! Terry's car is in the garage.

Poor Phoebe.

We proceeded to shovel the back porch for Snoopy (he doesn't like to walk in it) and the front sidewalk and driveway. Both of our neighbors are pregnant so we thought we'd do them a favor and do their driveways, too. (Like my pants?)

We finally finish and come inside to rest our bones and pat ourselves on the back for a job well done. We're not even in the house 10 mins and it starts to snow once again! Hard!

AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Here's a picture that has nothing to do with snow I just think it's really funny and I wanted to share it with ya'll. Poor Pepper! tehe

Blessed Yule

2008-12-21T15:16:00.000-08:00

Your Pagan Holiday Lesson: The Winter Solstice aka Yule

WINTER SOLSTICE December 21st:The celebration of the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year. It is the celebration rebirth of the Sun, which is the promise of spring and life even on this the darkest day. Therefore some consider this the new year. The burning of the log is to give the Sun strength. Mumming (plays) such as "St. George" is a Pagan survival , it represents the rebirth of the God. Wassailing or is also a Pagan custom. The Roman festival of the Solstice was Saturnalia, which lasted from December 17th to the 24th.

Yuletide, Alban Arthuan, Winter Solstice marks the longest night of the year. It is from this point that the days begin slowly to become longer and longer. The sun is at its most southeastern point over the Tropic of Capricorn in the northern hemisphere and has no apparent northward or southward motion. In the time of the ancient tribes this was a time of celebration, for it meant the turning point of winter and the eventual return of spring. Yule is the time when we honor the Goddess for giving birth to the sun once more. It is the time when the Oak King is victorious over the Holly King. The Holly King represents death and darkness that has ruled since Samhain, and the Oak King represents rebirth and life. The waning (diminishing) sun is overtaken by the waxing (increasing) sun, thus the days become longer after the victory of the Oak King.

Yule is a time when we do Rituals and celebrate the increasing daylight, to renew, and to see the world through the eyes of a child. Spells done at Yule tend to raise our spirits, and bring harmony, peace, and joy. During Yule we see the wisdom of past experience begin to glimmer. The experiences we yielded over the harvest season of the times gone past begin to be reborn as wisdom, new light, to guide us further down the Paths we have chosen.

It is customary for Pagans to decorate the Yule tree, and adorn the house with holly, ivy and pine. It is time when Father Winter, a white bearded chap dress in red, fur trimmed robes, arrives bearing gifts and exchange gifts.

This is the eve when the Yule log from the previous year is burned in the fire. Symbolic of the newborn sun, each year's Yule log is of oak, charged in a Magic Circle and kept in sacred space the following Yule. This not only celebrates the oak and places it in a place of distinguished honor, but also ensures there will be fuel for the remainder of Winter.

Resources: © Copyright 1996, Christina Aubin; used by permission

SNOW!!!!!

2008-12-14T10:29:00.000-08:00

Oh how I love snow! I can remember when we first moved to PA when I was 15, a kid coming from Texas having only seen like 2 inches of snow (at 2 different times) in her whole life. The temp only getting to about 30 degrees in the dead of winter. That first winter we were there it snowed 3 feet......twice!! And the temp was like 5 degrees or lower sometimes. And there was a wind chill factor....WTF? I was convinced we were going to die. We were going to be trapped in that house forever. FOREVER!! Oh the humanity.

Well since then I have grown the love PA & snow. I'm a winter person. I love coats, sweaters, boots, seeing my breath, how stunning it looks first thing in the morning after it snows before it gets dirty. Terry says it's my Scandinavian (Viking) blood. Who cares why! I love winter and it is upon us.

It snowed for the first time this season yesterday and it is awesome! Terry's out shoveling right now! I probably could have helped but why would I take that away from him. I know how much he loves to do it. I'm such a good person! He's a lucky man.

We've also put up our tree. It's so pretty. This is our first Yule in our first home. The last tree we put up didn't stay up long. Right after we put it up last year Terry got the job in Washington and we had to moved. Oh well. I'm glad we're here.

Lights on....

Lights off.....

I naturally went out first thing this morning to take pictures. Dragged poor Ter out into the cold to pose for me. He got me right in the middle of the back with a snow ball as payback. I really just can't help myself. It's SNOW and I take pictures!!

Our Pose

Terry enjoying a nice cup of coffee in his undies (cause his pants were wet and he hadn't made it to the bedroom for the other ones) after shoveling snow. I don't know how he puts up with me sometimes. He's a good man. I'm a lucky girl!

Down with PC

2008-12-11T09:00:00.000-08:00

Some of you may know some may not but I am not a Christian. I'm a Pagan. However I do believe that this PC bullshit has gotten far out of hand. I believe in freedom of religion. ALL RELIGION even Scientology. My cousin Karen Clark sent me this and I thought I could post it here. Merry Christmas everyone!!

*Twas the month before Christmas*
*When all through our land,*
*Not a Christian was praying*
*Nor taking a stand.*
*See the PC Police had taken away,*
*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*
*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*
*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*
*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say*
* December 25th is just a ' Holiday '.*
*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*
*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*
*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *
*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*
*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*
*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*
* At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*
*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*
*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*
*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty*
*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*
*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*
*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !*
*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*
*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*
*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*
* Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*
*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded*
*The reason for the season, stopped before it started.*
*So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'*
*Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.*
*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*
*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS ,
not Happy Holiday !*

Please join together and
wish everyone you meet during the
holidays a
MERRY CHRISTMAS

Yule at Sears Portrait Studio

2008-12-06T17:52:00.000-08:00

You know I almost wish I had more to bitch about (it would make this blog more interesting) but truth be told it hasn't been near as bad as I thought it would be. Sure do we have the pissy customer here and there....yes, but for the most part it has gone pretty smoothly. I'm much more confident then I use to be. People request me, I get great surveys (they say I'm awesome and I have the paperwork to prove it) and I think my work is pretty darn good. We have a great crew that shows up to work and do their jobs. Really how much more can you ask for?

On a sad note, my friend/boss Trae may be leaving us come Jan. We are all devastated. Just when things are going so well a blow like that. He's having some personal issues. I don't think he really wants to leave so we've been doing all we can to make him want to stay. I hope it works. I will miss him terribly if he leaves. I don't think anyone could replace him. Who will take me to Drag Shows?

Terry and I may not be celebrating Yule 'till Jan. or Feb. Funds are kind of slim and since we don't have kids yet we'll be fine to postpone the holiday a few weeks. Plus he needs to save up, I have a really long list!!

Until next time....

A Wonderful Weekend

2008-11-29T17:28:00.000-08:00

This Thanksgiving was the first one I've spent with my parents in 12 years and the first one Terry and I have ever spent with them. It was so great. We ate way to much, played Scrabble, I learned to crochet, got a few chores done for my folks and just had an all around awesome time. The only thing missing was my brother. I would love for all of us to be together. Stupid living-in-3-different-states! Someday.

The trip from Seattle to Reno took 14 hours! I slept a lot and poor Terry did most of the driving. We took both cats & Snoopy. I'm happy to report they all did very well. The cats cried a bit but all in all a pleasant trip was had by all. I still have no idea what Oregon looks like. When we moved to WA we drove through OR and the fog was so thick you could only see about 100 yards. Same thing this time. But I hear it pretty there.

Here are a few pics from the trip. I didn't get any of my parents cause neither of them like getting the pictures taken but I did take some on the way home.

Mt. Saint Helens. It's not the best shot.

The thick fog in down town Seattle.

The "Betty Page House" at exit 170 on the I-5. I love random art!

Sorry that my blogs have been mostly pics lately I just haven't had that much to write about. It gets dark at like 4:30 here and I've been working so much that we really haven't had time for much on the weekends. I will say that Terry & I are "trying" again so ya'll keep your figures crossed for us.

Thanks Mom & Dad for a perfect Thanksgiving.

And Thanks Trae for allowing it to happen.

Another Drag Show!

2008-11-25T08:17:00.000-08:00

I got a better seat for this one so the pics I took were much better. More action packed! I liked the Kings a lot better at this show as well. A King even danced with me a little! Good Times.

The Kings: Mike Infusion, Jay Stroker & Charlie Normas

Paloma

Athena Kiss & Jenu~Wine Beauté

My Wonderful Boss & Friend, Trae

HOLY S@#T!!!

2008-11-20T15:27:00.000-08:00

How excited am I? I'm going to Reno to spend Thanksgiving with my folks.....

.....for the first time in 12 or 13 years!!!!!

You see, they moved to Reno after I had meet Terry and still lived in PA. Up until 10 months ago we still lived in Hampton Roads, VA and plane tickets are expensive. But now we are a short 14 hour drive from them and my amazingly wonderful boss gave me 5 days off! He says my ass is his for the rest of the holiday season. I'm cool with that.

WOO HOO!! GOING TO RENO!!

Mostly Pictures

2008-11-16T19:53:00.001-08:00

We "hiked" a trail the other day. Not so much a trail as a concrete walkway. No real excitement but here are a few pictures for ya. The first is just a bridge on the trail. The second is some local wildlife. The third is a sunk boat in the Snohomish river that runs next to the trail.

Here are a few pictures of some random things. The first a snow capped mountain. The second the same mountain over the Puget Sound. The third the moon through my Pear Tree.

Don't forget to look a the next blog. I posted them at the same time. Enjoy.

A Mukilteo Sunset

2008-11-16T15:44:00.000-08:00

A Wasted Weekend

2008-11-09T18:32:00.000-08:00

So I got the whole weekend off! Sweet, right? Yeah, not so much. I had the whole weekend off and did......well nothing really.

Let's see. Saturday Terry & I were play fighting and he fore armed me in the face (accident) and I had a headache for the rest of the day. Not even Excedrin helped and it ALWAYS helps me. So Saturday was shot. On Sunday we were going to go to Chili's for lunch. Well Google Earth said that there were 2 "close" to us. We drove to the first one in Bellvue (26 miles from our house). Closed! We drove to the second one in Issaquah (33 miles from our house). Closed!! AHHHH! Let me tell you when your mouth thinks is gonna get something then it doesn't nothing taste good after that! All I kept thinking about was Southwestern Egg roles. :( Come to find out there's one close to the airport. Balls! So anyway just kind of drove around after that. Exploring. Oh and did I mention it was raining too! So I didn't even get any good shots. But here's a couple.

Railroad bridge over the Skykomish River.

Random art under a bridge. You find that a lot here.

This one isn't from this weekend I just thought it was pretty.

Bla Bla Bla

2008-11-06T12:17:00.000-08:00

Well life (and my girly parts) finally seem to be returning to normal. If my calculations are correct Terry & I can start trying again in Jan. Oh I'm having a baby! I told my mom today that, "I'm like a lion who's tasted human blood and is now a man eater. I've now been pregnant and I want to be pregnant again!!" I know that kids can be little pains in the ass but I don't care. I think it could be cool to have 1 or 2.

Anyhow. The Northwestern Rains have started and it looks like they have crushed our weekend plans. You see, I never get a full weekend off and this one coming up my wonderful boss was kind enough to give me Sat. & Sun. off!! Woo Hoo! We were thinking of finally going to the Olympic Peninsula for some site seeing. Mother Nature clearly had different plans. The rain is here. We now may have to wait till spring. :(

On a completely gratuitous note: Here's something most rarely get to see. Me in a picture with ALL THREE of my babies. I hate being in pictures randomly. I'm very controlling with pics. But here it is.

I know, super flattering, right? They (my pets) are almost never this close to each other. And on my lap none the less. Pepper (middle) hisses at everyone (the pets) when they get to close, Snoopy (left) is scared of Smoke (right) and I (top) don't like everyone on top of me. Very rare pic indeed! Count yourselve lucky.

Happy Halloween!!

2008-10-31T18:16:00.000-07:00

As some of you know I am a Pagan. I'm not a Wiccan. I don't practice witchcraft nor do I cast spells (not really anyway). I DO NOT worship the devil (I don't even believe in the devil). I don't drink kittens blood or sacrifice chickens. I certainly don't dance naked under a full moon or anyplace for that matter. As a Pagan, in very simple terms, I don't believe in one all powerful being (God) I believe in a God & Goddess in equal parts. The God "rules" over Fall & Winter. The Goddess, over Spring & Summer. There cannot be one without the other. I won't bore you with details. If you would like to know more there are countless website to peruse.

I will however give you Pagan Sabbat (holiday) lessons.

First Lesson:

SAMHAIN (aka Halloween) - Cross-quarter day - October 31/ November 1
Death, the third of the Harvest holidays, the ending of the cycle, death, but with the hope of rebirth and the New Year.The traditional time for the annual slaughter to ensure food throughout the winter months. Take this time to remember departed ones. In some traditions the end of the year . The separation between this physical world and the spiritworld is thin. Halloween customs are a part of this element of death, the thin line at this cycle and remembering the dead and the hopes of rebirth. On this night Magick is more powerful .

Halloween is my very favorite holiday. Although this year you wouldn't think that. I've done nothing. I just have been in no mood.

Anyway. Thats your first Pagan Lesson.

Happy Halloween & Blessed Be!

Another Weekend, Another Adventure!

2008-10-26T21:16:00.000-07:00

The weather has turned colder now (Woo Hoo) and the Rains of the Pacific Northwest have not started yet so we thought we would take advantage of the nice weather. I don't have any good hiking shoes yet so I really didn't want to take on a trail but I really wanted to get outdoors. There are lots of rivers and creeks in the mountains and so we thought we'd go walk a riverbank. I don't know the name of the river but it sure was pretty. We saw a bald eagle but I wasn't quick enough to get the shot. We think it's so cool how you can be doing almost anything and see awesome wildlife. Oh...we also went to a salmon hatchery (Terry's idea). So here are a few pics for ya!

Baby Salmon. I never got a good shot of the big ones.

Our "signature picture". We take this shot every time we do something new.

Terry showing me diving technique.

Me trying to convince Terry I'm the queen of the mountain!

Just a nice shot of us and the background. I love Fall!

Ahhh. It was a nice day. My feet and ankles hurt a bit 'cause the bank was VERY rocky. I can't wait to get my new shoes!

WARNING: May get a little graphic. Sorry it's my blog! *:P raspberry*

On a little more personal note the miscarriage is starting to takes its toll! Normally a woman will bleed for about a week or so after but I had what's called an incomplete miscarriage. It means that my body didn't clean everything out at one time. It's taken for ever it seems like! It's been almost 3 weeks since it happened and my body is still not finished. I almost feel like Mother Nature is kicking me while I'm down. "Sorry you don't get to have this baby and oh by the way you're gonna be "out of commission" FOREVER!!! HAHAHAHA!!" And what makes it the worst is that because my cervix is still open Terry and I can't.....you know... because "IT" may cause infection. It's been rough, let's just say that! With all this taking so long it makes it a little harder to get past. I'm okay and we are looking forward (to say the least) to trying again, but I just want it to hurry up and be done already!

Granite Mountain

2008-10-20T20:07:00.000-07:00

With the holiday season upon us I'm a lot busier at work than normal. That gives Ter time to do all the "Difficult" hikes that I don't want to do. He's so cute! He's slowly accumulating all the proper hiking gear for us both. New shoes (Keen), backpacks (Camelbacks), shirts (polyester), coats (Northface). He says things like if you really want to be a North westerner you need to do.....insert what real North westerners do here! I'm pretty sure that's why we bought the Subaru, Lucy. Anyway here are a few pics from his latest hike to Granite Mountain.

Starting to go above the cloud line.

The Fire Tower (the top). Still like a mile or so away.

Twin mountain lakes.

The view from the tower. (pieced together from 3 pics)

The tip of Mt. Rainer.

On the way back down.

The poor guy is feeling it today! (hehe) His legs are so sore. I know he would have it no other way!

Wha'd ya'll do Saturday?

2008-10-12T16:25:00.000-07:00

I went and saw me some royalty! Queens & Kings!!! So my boss Trae's boyfriend Orlando is a Drag Queen and he invited me to a show. It was awesome! One of the best shows of any kind I've ever been to. Naturally I took pictures. So okay just so your informed Queens are men dressed as women, Kings are women dressed as men.

The Kings

Orlando (aka Paloma)

The Other Lovely Ladies

The above queen who's name escapes me had her 30th birthday yesterday. Her Mom and brother were in the audience. In the picture on the bottom left he's singing to his mom! It was so cute!

My friend Donna came with me and she got pulled to the stage for a game. The game was see who could blow a condom up the largest. Donna popped hers. The guy next to her won!

A Drag show is defiantly not for everyone. (Terry didn't go) but if you have no problem with releasing your inhibitions you must go to a Drag show!!

Whatever will be will be

2008-10-10T11:19:00.000-07:00

Well I don't have a lot to report on today. I think more than anything I want everyone to know that we are fine. We are both looking very forward to getting back into the swing of things. Unfortunately we can't try again until I have 2 normal cycles. (menstrual cycles). So it will be about Jan when we can start again. It would be awesome if I got pregnant in JAN cause than I could have a OCT baby! Maybe even a Halloween baby!! We'll see.

So I'm going to a Drag Queen show on Saturday! I can't wait! My bosses boyfriend is a queen, and I must say he is a smoking hot chick when he's all dresses up! Looks a little like Jennifer Lopez. I will of course be posting pics of that if they turn out.

Anyway all is well here. I have my sad moments but life goes on and I'm not a dweller. If it's meant to be it will be.

A sad day

2008-10-06T19:32:00.000-07:00

Well it was confirmed today. I have suffered a miscarriage. I was 9 weeks along. The lady who did my ultrasound said that all my girlie parts look fine and that this was probably just a simple miscarriage. 1 in 4 women will have at least one in their lifetime. As a matter of fact ALL of the women I've talked to about it (ladies bringing their kids in for pics) have had at least one. One women had had 4! And has 4 kids!! My age was not a factor. Nor was it anything that the doc could find. It happens and chances are that our next pregnancy will go off without a hitch. I'm just glad to know that I can even get pregnant.

Terry and I are fine, a little sad but fine. We have made our peace with this. Life goes on and as soon as the Doc says okay we will be trying again!

I'm sorry I'm not telling each of you personally, I just really don't want to talk about it. I hope you understand. Typing about it once is much easier than saying it over and over.

Terry's Brain

2008-10-03T19:03:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know us personally you are aware no doubt that Ter-Bear has a brain condition. No not that, Doofus-ism is not really "condition" per say. A real condition. He has an AVM:

"Arteriovenous malformations (AVM) are masses of abnormal blood vessels which grow in the brain. They consist of a blood vessel "nidus" (nest) through which arteries connect directly to veins, instead of through the elaborate collection of very small vessels called capillaries. Some people are born with the nidus, but as the years go by, it tends to enlarge as the great pressure of the arterial vessels can not be handled by the veins that drain out of it. This causes a large collection of worm-like vessels to develop (malform) into a mass capable of bleeding at some future time."

Well 2 1/2 years ago he had gamma knife surgery (a non-invasive radiation surgery) to correct the condition. A process that takes a few years to see any real results. Well we are please to show you all now before and after pictures of Ter's brain. Know that the AVM is not gone but it is decrease in size by a good bit. He may have to have another surgery in the future to completely get rid of it but looking at the new picture makes me feel very optimistic that he will someday be with out the AVM.

Before

After

Before

After

Before

After

Now I know that this may not look like much to ya'll but aside from the fact that it looks smaller Terry himself has been feeling better (much fewer "episodes" -the right side of his body would go numb) Woo-Hoo!

Federation Forset

2008-10-01T10:07:00.000-07:00

Terry and I are hikin' machines! Well not machines more like novice. Well me anyway. Terry's way more into it than me. As a matter of fact, remember the evil trail from a few post ago? Well while I was in VA Terry went back to it and hiked all the way to the lake that's at the top of the mountain. I have no desire to ever see that damn lake so he "had" to go with out me!

Anyway our latest hike was to Federation Forest State Park. We drove about 50 miles to the world's lamest trail. Don't get me wrong it was pretty but very boring. Not much to see, no real payoff and ya'll know how I'm all about the payoff! The only thing it had going for it was the very old growth,

some gigantic trees,

really pretty fungi,

and the "Hobbit House"

More like a small gnome village really. I guess for years now hikers have been helping to create this little village in the woods. It was very cute. But not really worth diving 100 miles round trip and walking nearly 5 miles. My legs are still killing me. Although I am getting use to this hiking stuff. It makes Terry really happy so will keep at it. Plus it's good for me, too. I want to be healthy for our future kids. Stupid exercise!

Here's a few more pics of the Gnome village. Enjoy.

Home at Last

2008-09-24T12:52:00.000-07:00

I'm now recovering from a fantastic weekend with missed friends and family! I had such a nice time. I got to see my brother for about an hour during a layover in Chicago. I stayed with The Baylers.

And yes I got the best response out of Nicole just like I knew I would. It wouldn't be funny to explain, you just had to be there.

I saw my beloved Hallmark Girls. This is an old picture but it works for my purpose here. I could have put my apron on and started ringing people out. It was so comfortable. Like I never left. Good times!

I got to spend much needed time with my "Surrogate Family" The Kalgrens. Unfortunately some very important members of this family were not in attendance which was quite heartbreaking for me (Melissa & her boys, Roddy and his family) but I took what I could get. Steph (the BFF) is the one with the blue shirt w/ the white bird. Karen and Steven (the two right above Steph) are the newlyweds. I'm not going to name them all off but if you have questions just ask.

I got to eat at the best Mexican Restaurant on the planet: Rey Azteca!

I think had I had more money I could have eaten there everyday and I would have! If you live in the Hampton Roads area and you like mexican food GO THERE!!!!! Get the cheese dip! And maybe Chili Colorado.....yummmm, Chili Colorado!

It's too bad I didn't have more time to spend there. I would have loved to go to PA to visit more of my family. Sad. But I'm glad I got what time I did. I am however very glad to be home. I missed Terry very much. And I was nervous about the baby the whole time. I didn't want anything to happen being that far away from home.

I seem to be showing some signs, though! I have no control over my body temp or my emotions! I had a gnarly hot flash on the plane home. I thought I would burst into flames! I burst into tears for no reason at all and then suddenly it's over. I love the smell of coffee but now I can't stand it! WTF?! All else seems to be going well.

Boulder Falls

2008-09-15T18:45:00.000-07:00

Terry & I went on a hike yesterday to Boulder Falls (Marked easy in the book, I checked!) It was so nice. The trail was nice and flattish. There were lots of people out, but not too many. And there were a bunch of families with little kids. That made me happy to think that we could bring our kids with us. It was nice exercise but I didn't fell exhausted afterward. A good day. Here are a few pics.

The falls stand about 75 tall. They were so pretty. Much better but less water than Bridal Falls. With only half the work. I fully intend to go back! ASAP.

So far pregnancy if going fine. I've suffered no morning sickness yet though I fully expect to wake up every morning puking. I had a little heartburn, my boobs are sore and I can smell something gross from a mile away. As a matter of fact I have so few symptoms that I'm wondering if those 2 positive preg test were wrong. I hope they were right. I've told almost everyone I know. "Hey guys, just kidding!" Well see Oct 2 if I need to sue the shit out of the preg test company for making me lie to all my people!

Well my trip to VA starts in 2 days! I can't wait to see my friends. I'll be there about a week. I'm pretty sure most of them have no idea I'm knocked up. I'm excited to tell them face to face. I think Nicole will give me the best reaction. We'll see.

A Downside :(

2008-09-11T15:49:00.000-07:00

So call me whiny but this will be my first child and I want all the bells and whistles that come along with that. I want a nice baby shower, I want all my friends to be like "Awwww look how big your getting!", I want my mommy! Everyone we know lives across the country! We have discovered the downside to living in Washington. (I still don't want to move back, though.) On the off chance that any of my peeps would throw me a shower, the time that showers normally happen I will be too big to travel. Boo Hoo! Poor pitiful me, right! At times like these I really miss my friends & family. I will be seeing 3/4 of my clan in 6 days! Yeah! My Clan!

I go see the doctor on Oct 2. I'll be about 9 - 10 weeks at that point. They told me that there's no real point in coming any earlier than that because they can't hear the heart beat till about 10 weeks. Cool!

So I have an assignment for all who read this. I have a few names picked out for boys and girls but I would like more choices. Tell me what you got!

The Unexpected

2008-09-07T15:41:00.000-07:00

So Terry & I went whale watching yesterday. We were on the Puget Sound in the San Juan Islands for 4 hours and didn't see a single whale. Sad. We did get a rain check to come back some other time for free so it wasn't a total loss. Plus we did see other stuff. We saw lots of seals...

See 'um? Right there on the rock. The little white thing.

And there. The little shiny black thing stickin' out of the water.

We also saw an eagle. He's right in the center of the picture.

And an eagle's nest. It's about 6 - 8 feet across. In the Y of the tree.

Oh and we saw lots of deer. Yes deer. There's an island (Speiden Island) that is home to 4 different kinds of deer for around the world. Long story short....2 dudes in the '60s wanted to make the 2 mile long, 1/2 mile wide island a wild game hunt for rich old guys who don't want to do any real work when it comes to hunting. They imported 4 types of deer to Speiden. The project didn't work and the guys couldn't get all the deer off the island. So they're all still there living in peace with no natural enemies on an island owned (now) by the guy the founded the Oakley Sunglasses company.

As we made our way into Canadian water's we passed the most northwestern tip of the USA. Stewart Island's Turn Point Light House. Whales can often be seen here. Sadly not by us, though.

We also saw some Jelly Fish. The biggest one's I've ever seen. The biggest one I saw was about 2 feet across. Moon Jelly fish I think they were called.

We saw a few Doll's Porpoises. I wasn't quick enough to catch a picture. But I did catch a nice sunburn all over my face & chest. It was nice and cool out there so I forgot all about the sun cooking me from the sky and reflecting off the water. I look like a lobster.

Anyway not a whole lot else to talk about....Oh wait there is one more thing. I'm Pregnant!! At least that's what the little pink plus sign said! Twice! I haven't been to the doctor yet but I will go (hopefully) some time this week.

It didn't take near as long as I was expecting it to. I thought it would take a few years. We haven't even really been trying that hard! I, of course, will keep you all posted.

To any of the Hallmark girls who read this, please keep it under you hat till I get there. I would like to tell as many people I can myself face to face. I know Holly & Jamie read this from time to time. I wanted to tell everyone face to face but I just can't keep it quite!! Hehe. If my own personal calculations are correct I'm due around May 5ish. Woo hoo! I think I'll call my Mom, Nappy & my dad Grand Papa (roll your tougue when you say that)! What do ya'll think?

Worth it?!?

2008-09-01T19:33:00.001-07:00

OMG! Am I out of shape. Although I am over weight I do get out and do things. I walk my dog, we go to the beach, you know physical stuff. If I have a day off, I do things I don't sit around on my ass much. I just happen to enjoy food. That being said, Terry and I went for our first official mountain hike yesterday. I thought I would die. It was only 3 1/2 miles (roughly) round trip which would normally be no big deal, but this was quite literally a steady uphill the first half. And of course down hill on the way back. That was no fun either, my knees are killing me!

So anyway here's how it went. We got this book a few months back, "60 Hikes within 60 Miles - Seattle". All the hikes are labeled: Easy, Moderate, Difficult. So we start hiking and about 20 minutes in to it Terry says "If this is moderate I would hate to see difficult". At that point I start to feel bad about myself. I'm thinkin' "Man I can't let this simple path beat me" But it was so hard! About half way to the mid point (the payoff) I tell Terry "Go on without me, save yourself!" So he goes ahead of me and I slowly keep going. He's gonna go ahead, turn around, meet up with me, then we would head back to the car. Well because I kept following him I came to a point that I knew I had to finish. I had come to far to turn back with out the big payoff. So I press on. I call Terry and he has made it to the payoff. He says it worth it and he's so happy that I didn't turn around and go back to the car. Now I really can't disappoint him. He's so proud. I finally meet up with him and we make our way to the pay off. In his case back to the pay off. I pass a couple of old ladies on my way and of course there is now way in hell I can stop now!! OLD LADIES!!! I soldier on. There are some spots that I can't even believe that this is a real trail. It's like a foot wide on the side of a mountain and the path is covered with these giant rocks. It's insanity!!!

So finally after what feels like 5 miles uphill and 5 hours, I've made it. And all my pain and suffering was completely worth it.

Bridal Falls (The Pay Off)

The View

Terry in his Happy Place!

So after enjoying the sites we start to make our way back down the mountain. What happens next you ask? Well it rains buckets of course! By the time we made it back to the car I was completely soaked! And cold. I didn't really warm up till this morning in the shower. Welcome to the Pacific Northwest and it's beautiful rain forest!

FYI: The Hike was labled Difficult! I found out after we got back to the car. I could have killed that man!!

Tid Bits

2008-08-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

For starters let it be known that I have a butt load of stuff to do today. That fact alone means that I shouldn't even be wasting time on the computer much less writing a blog! Plus I don't have a whole lot to write about. I'm just lazy sometimes and I really don't want to do the dishes.

So Ter and I are going Whale Watching! We are going to the San Juan Islands in the Puget Sound and hopefully gonna see some orcas! That in of it self is super exciting to me but I'm also stoked about boating in around the sound! I love water and the coastlines around here are my idea of heaven! Not only do we get to go out in a boat for the tour but we have to ferry to the islands in the first place. Sweet! I never thought I'd be doing some of the things I've done lately.

You know the ONLY reason I wish Terry & I were super rich is so he would stop worrying. He can suck the fun out of something so fast just by silently bitching about how much money we don't have. He'll only say one thing about it then be withdrawn for the rest of the evening. Hence the silent part. I affectionately call him The Fun Murderer. He is cute, though.

Less than a month till my VA trip. I'm excited and freaked out all at the same time.

Excited because:

a) My flight layovers in Chicago for about 4 hours, where my brother lives so he's gonna come to the airport to see me. Yeah!

b) Karen's wedding (the whole reason I'm going to VA in the first place) is gonna be attended by my surrogate family for PA, The Kalgrens.

c) I get to see my VA friends.

d) I get to eat at my favorite Mexican place! REY AZTECA, here I come!

Freaked out because:

a) I like to fly but I'm scared to fly.

b) This will be the first time I've ever gone anyplace completely on my own. You know with out Terry or my Mom. I know it's pathetic.

That's one of the reasons I wanted to go so much. I don't do stuff on my own very much and I really want to be able and not scared to do things with out my security blanket. (aka Terry)

Well the house is pretty much done. I need to clean it and take pictures and I'll post them in the next day or so. (Hopefully, If I can get my lazy ass off this computer.)

Uno Ass Man

2008-08-22T12:51:00.000-07:00

So I don't remember if I got into what's been happening at work since my old boss was canned. In short we got a new manager and he's been doing great things for the studio. His boss, our district manager Michelle, who is a huge pain in the ass, wanted him to pick or hire an asst. manager. So naturally since I have no desire for the position they asked me. I respectfully turned it down.

Let me explain: Terry and I are finally at a place in our lives where we can do things we want. Go places, have kids, spend real time together and I don't want my job to interfere with that. I'm simply trying to gain experience so I can go on to have my own studio someday. Not shot to the top at the Sears Portrait Studio. I'm quite happy being a peon. No one bugs me, I don't have to deal with most problems that come up, blah blah blah. And the pay isn't that much more than I'm making now.

So anyway they hired two new girls to fill they lack of employee void. One to be a part time peon and the other to be asst. manager. Well low and behold the part time peon is awesome. Fast learner, great customer service, good with kids, the works. We love her. The A.M. on the other hand dreadful! She's bad all around. She's essentially good at nothing as far as the studio is concerned. And I'm pretty sure she had never picked up a camera in her entire life before she was hired. WTF!!?? To make matters worse. The part time peon is moving, Sara is going to collage, I'm going on vacation, and the boss may take another job. ALL in less than a month!

The boss has finally wised up to how crappy she is and has asked her to step down from the asst. position. Which she happily did. Then they came right back and asked me to take it which I agreed to (if you want something done right do it your self, right?) Well now that I've excepted the district manager is telling my boss that "The Asst. has to work Sundays and nights" of which I do neither. Seriously, you're going to pester me to take a position I don't even want and then throw in conditions? I think not! So I told my boss to tell his boss that if that's the way it's gonna be she can shove that position strait up her ass. (That is exactly what I told him! FYI)

He's yet to tell me any new news but will see. I may be the Uno Ass Man (#1 Asst. Manager) I may not be. Either way I'll be alright. Trust me!

Update: I've talked to Trae (the boss) since I posted this and he said that he doesn't care what Michelle says he's just happy I'm the A.M. I guess I'm the Asst. Manager. Okey Dokey.

My Art

2008-08-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

These are a few of my pictures. It's been awhile since I've shot for my own pleasure with the move and all but if ya'll would like to see more of my work you can visit my site on Deviant Art. http://subgirl512.deviantart.com/

~ Cloudy Night ~

~ Guess Where ~

~ Terry ~

~ Set Sail ~

~ Quiet Time ~

~ I'm all man, Lady! ~

I have so much more but I don't want to inundate my blog with pictures! Feel free to visit my DA page. I'm getting more creative with photoshop so some don't really look like photos but they are. Except my drawings of course. Drawing is not my first artistic outlet so they arn't great. But they're not bad. Enjoy!!

Epiphany

2008-08-15T11:12:00.000-07:00

I am an artist! Everyday I sell my work to people. Everyday I have people tell me how great my photographs are. How could I not see it before? All this time I thought that I wasn't there yet. That I wasn't doing what I love only on the path to it. Practicing if you will for my future as a artist selling my photographs to people who love them. DUH! For so long (sooo lloonngg) I've felt like I would never be where I wanted. So when I finally got there it took me a little while to realize it! I am a paid photographer! People love my work! People request me!

I shot a family with an autistic little boy. Before I started the mother said as long as he's in a picture she'd be happy. "It'll be hard" she said. This was the first autistic child I had ever met and I treated him like any other child. I made him laugh and smile. He gave me five. It was great. AND I got great shots of him and his little brother together. When I was showing her the pictures she almost cried. "I've never gotten them together in a good picture before", "I can't believe how good they are", "He never touches anyone", "Look at him smile!". That was a really good day! I'm tearing up a little telling ya'll.

I have so many good stories like that. That's just my favorite.

I still want more, I want my own studio, I want to do outside family portraits and pet photography. And I still want to shot stuff for myself (and maybe sell some of them, too!)

It may not be exactly how I thought it would be but it is really good! I am a photographer! I am an artist.

Home Improvements

2008-08-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

As we are not loaded people we have to do any home improvement projects when money and time allow. We have done a few but the house itself is not complete. As in I'm not taking pictures and showing it off yet. So, Mom and anyone else who is waiting for pics your just going to have to wait a little longer! But here are a few pics of our first few home improvements.

Bedroom light fixture before

and after

It only took putting it up and taking it down 3 times before everything worked like it should! Pretty good I think! I got to tell ya I love a ceiling fan.

Dining room light fixture before.and after.

Yes, its pretty much the same fixture but the color is better and its hung a little higher. Terry kept hitting his head on the old one. Plus we hate gold plated stuff.

Living room window treatments before

and after.

I HATE mini-blinds. They were white and dirty and moldy in some places. And none of them seemed to work like they should have. So we replaced them with accordion blinds that match the walls better. They don't have string you just push them up! I love them. As you can see Snoopy enjoys the big window as well. That's all for now more to come soon. Hold your horses Mom & Dad!

So Undeserving

2008-08-04T15:55:00.000-07:00

Steph is one of the most responsible people I know. Although they have not always been winners she tries to make important decisions for the right reasons not the easy reasons. Now I'm not saying she's perfect or an angel. But she is a good person. Next to Terry she's my oldest & closest friend. I love her like she's my sister. She is my sister. In all the years we know each other our friendship has never faltered. We're as close today as we were 13 years ago.

So understandably I'm so pissed on her behalf. She has a sister that has lost her fucking mind and an ex that refuses to grow up and except any responsibility for all the shitty choices he's made. Now before I rant know that I love the sister and the ex-boyfriend very much.

The Sister has had a very rough few years. Her poor excuse of a husband killed himself (drug overdose) right after Christmas, his awful parents preceded to make her life miserable after he died (and before for that matter) she is now a single mom who was forced to move back home and live with her dad at 29 years old. I can see where you would go a little nuts. However life goes on and you need to suck up the crap and deal with it. She's acting like a 18 year old. And for some reason people think she's Steph's responsibility. "You need to tell you sister....."

The Ex-Boyfriend, well he's a whole separate blog, but the Cliff Notes version is he makes really bad choices that are almost always emotion based and damn the consequences. Even though they've been broken for almost 2 years now and he's fathered a child with another chick she is still cleaning up after him. Mostly because he just doesn't give a damn about anything. She just can't seem to get out from underneath his issues.

I want her to come live with us for a few years but I don't know when she'll be able to afford it. She can't seem to keep her head above the water. I hate that I can't help her more. She needs an emotional break. Washington would be a nice getaway for her I think!

Home

2008-07-29T17:45:00.000-07:00

Over the past week I've entertained two close friends. Good times had by all. Now everything is getting back to the normal dull flow of things. Which I enjoy. I WILL finally finish unpacking this house and start the decorating process. I like things simple so nothing to extreme. Just picture placement and such.

I really do love this house. I can't believe how easy it was to adapt. It's just so comfy! I was catching up with an old friend recently and we were talking about how crazy it was that Terry & I ended up here. "I never expected you two to be here" she said. It's been such a crazy year. We had finally had enough of VA last Nov. and Terry asked "How would you feel about living in WA?" 8 months later we own a home here. I don't know if I've ever been so comfortable someplace. It's been so effortless to love it here. It took me 6 years to make real friends and feel happy in VA. And even then I never liked the area. Poor Terry hated it. His job, the people, the heat. Everything. Here, it just feel right. Natural. Like this is were we should have been our whole lives. I don't think that I will ever move from this place willingly. I want my kids and my grand kids to grow old here. I'm home.

However I do miss my peeps! To remedy that I will be going to my "cousin" Karen's wedding in Sept. Back to VA for a week. I should be able to kill like 3 birds with one stone. I'll get to see my Surrogate Family: The Kalgrens, my Hallmark girls, and the Baylers, whom I'll be staying with. Unbelievably it's been almost a year since I've seen any of them. I can't wait!!!

You got to have friends!

2008-07-26T08:50:00.000-07:00

I've got quite a busy "friend week". My Nikka was here with her mom for a few days delivering a cat to and old army buddy. So I got some OT with her again. And my old friend Lydia is here in the Pacific Northwest for a wedding. I hope to get a little time with her Monday. I really do hope this trend continues. As much as I love it here I do long for my BFFs. Hopefully, if the price of owning a home isn't to steep I will be going to VA for a "cousins" wedding. My other family, The Kalgrens, are marring off one of the MANY Kalgren women. If I go I should get a big dose of family/friend time. My Hallmark girls, The Baylers, The Kalgrens....Oh it will be like heaven! I wish they would all move here. Or at least come to visit. Because, I'm confident, that once I get them out here they won't want to leave. That's my plan anyway! MuuUUUHHHhhhhAAAAaaaaa!!!! (evil laugh)

FYI

2008-07-22T13:54:00.000-07:00

smor·gas·bord Also: smör·gås·bord

Pronunciation [smawr-guhs-bawrd, -bohrd or, often, shmawr-]

1. a buffet meal of various hot and cold hors d'oeuvres, salads, casserole dishes, meats, cheeses, etc.

2. an extensive array or variety: The company has a smorgasbord of employee benefits.

Thanks Mom!

We're In & I'm back!

2008-07-18T22:25:00.000-07:00

We are finally in our new, adorable home! It seems like just yesterday we were driving are the greater Seattle area looking at potential homes. We are working slowly on unpacking and we've yet to cook a meal but it feels like home. We've only found a few things we wanted to change. Little things. Shower heads, plants in the yard, stuff like that. We really like it just the way it is. And no ghosts.....yet! The pets love the back yard and I love to not have to walk the dog. We've only been here 4 days and I've already locked myself out. Twice! Automatic locking doors. I'll get use to it.

As soon as we're done unpacking I'll take a few pictures and post them.

So I've become a little spoiled since moving to Washington. Nice cool weather 85% of the time, nice views no matter where you go, nice people and no bugs. I mean of course there are bugs but not many it seems like. NO TICKS! (I hate ticks, uuhhhh!) However I have become in the last few days a shmorgusbore (I'm not sure if that word is spelled correctly because I couldn't find it spelled anywhere, so if it's wrong I don't care.) to mosquito's! I have 2 bites on my armpit. MY ARMPIT! I f-n hate mosquitoes.

It's late and I'm tired. Ta!

My cup spilith over

2008-07-13T12:02:00.000-07:00

I know, I know that with out Terry's job we couldn't be where we are right now. I love where we are right now. HOWEVER, 7 days a week is stupid. Today is Sunday. He's at work right now! I would like 1 day with my husband that didn't involve him or me going to work. (work called me just now, I ignored it) There are only 3 of us that work there because that heinous bitch, Chelsey doesn't count so I'm needed way more than I want to be. I wanted a part time job not full time pain in my ass. That's what Terry is for! Why can't people just do what they're suppose to do. It's not hard. Just do it!

I have been so understanding for so long that I think my head will explode. I just want to tell people to "Fuck off!!" and do whatever the hell I want to do. I won't of course. BBBOOOOOOMMM!!!!!

Well we got the keys to the house yesterday. (if you've been keeping up with my blog you will see that the time lines don't add up. I know, my mistake) We walked around our now empty new home and just smiled. It's so adorable. I can't wait till all my stuff is in it. We will be moving into it on Tues & Wed. It seems like it has taken forever but no time at all! We own a home. We have a yard, a garage, a driveway! A lawnmower! It's so surreal. I never thought I would own a home. Probably because I never thought we'd leave VA and I was not planting roots there. No matter how much I miss my friends there, I'm glad we left. I love Washington. It fits us.

Official Home Owners!!

2008-07-12T00:49:00.000-07:00

Well as of 2 days ago Terry & I officially own a home. Yesterday we bought a lawnmower. Terry was like a kid at Christmas time! And today we bought a washer and dryer. I had trouble mentally spending them large amount of money on the set. It seemed like such an outrageous purchase. Ironic cause we just bought a house. We decided that Terry is going to be incharge of the outside and I'll take the inside. I can't wait to be in it to see what I can do. I'll post some pics when we get settled. We both feel so grown up! I like it!

Declined

2008-07-09T12:15:00.000-07:00

I decided not to take the Nanny job. The Cons out weighed the Pros. I'm no nanny and I felt completely unqualified for the job. I thanked her for giving even considering me. She's such a nice lady. I think I'll just stick to what I'm good at. Photography.

An Update

2008-07-08T10:58:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a few days since I wrote, so here's a quick up date on the state of things.

We officially close on the house in 2 days. On July 10 it is our house!! I really can't believe how excited I am. Most of our stuff is packed and we are getting very antsy. I'll ask Terry in the evenings "What do you want to do?" he answers the same every time "I just want to go buy stuff for the house!" I'm pretty sure this is the most "excited" I've ever seen him. Of course if you know him at all you know the I use the term excited very loosely. (Terry in a monotone voice) "Yes, I'm really excited. Woo-Hoo." He's so stinkin' cute!

However we won't be moving until the 15th. So if anyone need directions to the house let me know! You know to help us move. I'm waiting by the phone.

Other than the move there isn't a lot going on here. Not much to write about so I'll just babble a little. I mean after all this blog is about me letting ya'll into our lives. So here a taste of me.

I LOVE to read! Sometimes I can't get enough. Right now is one of those times. I'm reading a series called the Twilight Saga. I literally cannot put the books down. Normally at night before I fall asleep I'll read for a hour or so. Not the case with these books. I read the second one in 2 days! I don't really read that fast and since I only read at night it takes me a week or so to finish a book sometimes longer depending on the size. I haven't been this involved in a book since I read Harry Potter. (any of them) For some reason I'm in to Vampire stories. That's what these are. With some romance mixed in which I usually steer very clear of. Anyway the books are awesome and I can't put them down. The movie based on the first book will be out in Dec. Can't wait!

Let's see....Well Terry is working his ass off at work. He seems OK with it so I can't really complain but I do miss him a lot. No matter how much I enjoy my alone time, and I really enjoy my alone time, I wish he was home more. All I can do is wait patiently. This won't go on forever, right?

Umm....work is good for me Trae has made positive changes! I'm glad I stayed. I have the Nanny interview tomorrow morning (nervous) and then tomorrow night I'm going to a Foo Fighter's concert! Sweet!

That really about sums it up right now. So I think I'll go get some Starbucks! Ta

Lion vs. Water Buffalo vs. Crocodile

2008-07-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

I know this really has nothing to do with me personally but it is an amazing video! You must watch this!

Change

2008-07-01T17:36:00.000-07:00

My manager, Brittney, was fired today. Don't feel bad for her she was a terrible manager. She deserved to be caned. However as a friend I feel for her. She's got a lot on her plate and she's had her share of shitty luck in the past few months. She's been replaced by Trae (pronounced tray). He seems nice but kind of a kiss ass. He kind of reminds me of Mark for the show Ugly Betty. He is however a phenomenal photographer. I feel like I can learn a lot from him. In that respect I'm excited. On the other hand I'm a little sad. I fear change sometimes. Oddly enough I crave it!

Which brings me to the next topic. The other day at work a lady came in to the studio and in conversation motioned that she needed a nanny. I told her I'd give her a call (because the hours are really good and the pay would be better that Sears). I have an interview on Wed. I'm nervous. I've never nannied before. What if the kid hates me? What if I hate the kid or the mom? We're both from Houston so we bonded over that a little. We'll see.

So we move in to our NEW HOME on July 15!! We're almost completely packed. We're so ready to have our own house. Terry gets all giddy ever time he sees a lawnmower! I can't wait till I can plant some flowers and a tomato plant (for my mommy) and some lilac bushes. My head spins with all the things I want to do!

One more thing and I'll let ya'll get back to your own lives. You would think that being born in Texas and having lived in VA for 8 years that I would be use to heat! Not the case I'm afraid. Now before you start to make fun of me let me state my case. In TX & VA yes it gets very hot! Like in the 100 sometimes. Being outside makes you feel like your melting. However you can escape that heat by going inside to you nice air conditioned home. We have no AC here. You don't really need it. But last weekend it got hot and we couldn't escape. I miss AC. Thankfully it's back down to a comfortable degree. I hate hot!

Random

2008-06-26T10:18:00.000-07:00

Why is it that 17 16 year olds in Gloucester MA have no trouble at all getting knocked up but I, a person who "did it right" can't seem to get spemanated? And by "did it right" I mean getting married BEFORE I had kids. (People have been saying to me for years, " So do you have kids? No? Well at least your doing it right.") What does that even mean?!? Why is it that 2 people who love each other and are in a good, stable, long relationship aren't truly a fit parents unless they're married? Angalina Jolie & Brad Pitt seem to be doing a pretty darn good job with their 26 kids and no wedding rings. I've known many a married couple that SHOULD NOT have been married no matter how many kids they had. I myself don't think that the idea of marriage is what it use to be. I don't think that most people take it seriously anymore. Not all people of course!! Some people take it way to seriously!

I personally believe that as a married woman that my husband/family comes first. Our life together comes first. I need to do everything that I can to keep us a strong happy couple. And he needs to do the same. Neither of us are "the boss" No one "wears the pants" We do however have our strengths. Terry is the provider. Clearly he makes way more money than I do. (I'd be living in Dubois PA with 4 roommates and one bathroom, more than likely if it weren't for him.) And I do maintain the house. I love to clean. (He'd be living in filth up to his knees if it weren't for me.) So we do fall into the classic "He's brings home the bacon & I fry it up in a pan" But, he does help around the house and I do work. Every major decision that has ever been made was made by both of us.

That's were I feel a lot of couples get it wrong. When you have kids or get married you are no longer 1 person. You can still be you but now you have other people to consider. You can no longer be selfish.

I've always heard people say that marriage is so hard. I don't really believe that. I thought being single was hard. Naturally there will always be bumps along the way but if it's right it shouldn't be that difficult. I have a friend who has two kids with her "boyfriend". They breakup every few weeks just to get back together in a day or 2. What the hell is up with that?!?!? WHY? Clearly that is NOT RIGHT!

I don't think that Terry and I are perfect. We both have bad habits. But I do know that we almost never argue, we enjoy each others company, we've never broken up in 13 years, we do everything we can to make the other laugh, we support each other completely and we love each other. I hope with every ounce of my being that we stay together for the rest of our lives but anything can happen. I know that nothing is written in stone.

Holy crap did I digress. The point of this blog was "getting pregnant can be hard" The End!

Blessed Midsummer

2008-06-21T15:17:00.000-07:00

First off I would like to wish everyone a happy Summer Solstice. (aka first day of summer to all you non-pagans) It's the longest day of the year and if you can get out and enjoy the earth! I for one am waiting semi-patiently for Terry to get home from work. Then I'm hoping to also get out and enjoy the day.

Next I want to talk about missing my peeps. I've become very comfortable with missing my loved ones. I've had years of practice. It's almost like they are fictitious characters I've mad up. I don't talk to most of them very often and I almost never see them. My family is very scattered across to US and I haven't lived in the same state as my mom in 11 years. And I've only seen her a handful of times in that 11 years. It's the same as my oldest BFFs Steph, Melissa & Brenda. I've gotten so use to them being so far away that although not being with them sucks it's really no big deal. But my soul still aches. The job I had right before we moved to WA was hands down the best job I've ever had. The job was so-so but the people I worked with made going to work great! I miss them terribly. And my Nikka! How I adore her. She's in AZ but just recently came to visit us. It was fun. Last but not least we have Nicole. She is the yin to my yang. She very well may be the funniest person I've ever met. She's married to a hell of a guy, Jake and they have produced a adorable son, Will. I wish they were here. It was so great having a couple to hang out with. To all my loved ones I love and miss you.

So some house news. The Sellers asked if we could move up the closing date. At first we said no for various reasons but they said that they'd throw in the fridge. So we agreed. July 8th is the new date. That's like 2 weeks away!!!!! Holy Crap we have so much to do! Oi, packing!

Seriously my offer still stands. If anyone wants to come help move, I mean, visit don't be shy. I'm a good cook!

Uhhhh....

2008-06-19T13:14:00.000-07:00

So the pure joy of buying a home has been replaced by all the stress that comes with moving. I should have it down to an art at this point but it's NEVER fun. Packing, turning off and on the utilities, who will we get to help us move, unpacking, learning the area. Simply adjusting to a new home sucks. I'm not truly comfy in a new place for a month or so. I don't sleep well. I'll let ya'll in on a little secret: I watch to many ghost/haunting shows and so I'm always afraid the places we are moving into are haunted. Seriously! Although Terry, who oddly enough seems a little more "sensitive" to those kinds of things, says that he is completely comfortable in the house and that I should grow up. We'll see. I don't want a haunted house!!

Anyway back to moving. I am really happy about this whole process of owning our own home. I don't have any true roots. There's not one place I can call a home town. I've moved around so much in my life and my family is all over the place. Texas is my home state and I guess home is where your mommy & daddy are but still I crave roots! I want that for my kids. I want my kids to go to school with the same kids from Kindergarten to 12th grade. That's how it was for Terry. Lived in the same house his whole life till he shacked up with me & my nomadic ways. Had the same friends for 2 years old till he graduated. I went to 4 different schools. 2 different high schools. I often wonder if that's a reason I did so terribly in school? No matter.

I would however like to move one more time. I truly love the town we live in right now, Mukilteo WA. But we can't afford to own a house here. Hopefully in a few years (5 or 10) we will be able to. We'll see.

Well I'm going to go pack now. (boo hiss)

PS. if anyone wants to come visit us around the end of July, let me know! (hint hint)

Life con't

2008-06-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

I'm staging a personal protest. I'm calling off work today! And I'm not even sick! As I stated in a past blog, I'm a good, hard worked. To date that really, in the big scheme of things, gotten me nowhere. While slackers get the same treatment I do, I continue to work my ass off in hopes of something more. In vain. Also I may never do another favor for a co-worker as long as I live. I will no longer cover for HER or come in when she's "sick". I'm done with being her bitch! I've done favor after favor and when I asked HER to cover a 3 hour shift she didn't even return my phone call. From this point on I don't give a damn what her problem is, she could be bleeding out her eyeballs I DON'T CARE!!! Fuck you, Chelsey! I'M DONE! And if my manager won't do anything about it, she better be prepare to pick up her slack.

On a much lighter note: The house was appraised for more than the asking price! It's ours! We're buying a house! So once again we will be moving. That part sucks but at least we're moving in to a place that's OURS! I've estimated that this will be my 13th(ish) move and Terry's 8th. I'm not even Military. Yeah US!!

I keep getting e-mails that say "I can't figure out how to comment"

Here's what you do Step by Step:
1. At the bottom of each blog there's a link that says Comments. Click on that link.

2. You will come to a page that will have posted comments (if there are any) on the left side of the page, and on the right side of the page there will be a box under the heading: Leave Your Comment. In that box write your comment.

3. Under the comment box there is a "word verification". You must copy (type) the BIG BOLD LETTERS right above in to the line with the little Wheel Chair Guy next to it just like they are. Ex. If the are in CAPS type them in CAPS, if they are lowercase type them in lowercase.

4. Under "Choose you Identity", choose Name/URL. Type your name.

5. Click the "Publish Your Comment"

6. Done! You have successfully posted a comment! Yeah You!

Here's to.....

2008-06-15T15:09:00.001-07:00

another 50 years!!

Life

2008-06-14T16:27:00.000-07:00

I really don't have much to talk about as far as the house goes. At this point it's just a waiting game. It needs to be appraised and after that it's ours. (Hopefully)

I will however talk about my job for a few moments. Make no mistake, I love it. I love taking pictures of people. I love the job. It can get a little hairy at times but what job can't, right? Anyway, I'm a good worker. A hard worker. I'm never late, I never call off, I do what I'm suppose to and I never leave people stranded. It's not that hard to do that. Why is there no one I work with that understands that? I have never worked with a shittier group of people. It's infuriating. I don't even understand why these people work. You don't want to be here, so don't be!

@#%&*@#$%*@!#$&#&%&*@&#!&@!*&%$

Our anniversary was nice. We went and saw Indiana Jones. It was good. We went out to dinner and came home and cuddled! Next year for our 10th I would like to do something big. An Alaskan Cruise, a few day's in Hawaii, something nice. We'll see.

Karma

2008-06-14T16:22:00.000-07:00

I have a myspace page (of course) and I sometimes write blogs there although since now I have this I don't need to.

This is a blog I wrote on myspace a few weeks ago. I thought I would share it with ya'll.

So there I was walking my dog in the woods where lots of other people walk and he poops. Not right on the walk way but close enough. Now let me make one thing clear. 95% of the time I pick up his poop. Sometimes he poops in really odd places that maybe I can reach or that is completely in no danger of being stepped in. I will leave those lay. 100% of the time I pick up the poop that is close to were people walk. And I always pick it up around my neighborhood. Nothing worse than dog poop in front of you apartment door.

That being said, today I was lazy. I just covered it up. I wasn't going to be walking past a dumpster so I just left it there.

Here's were the karma kicked in. When I got home I had stepped in dog poop. ON BOTH SHOES & MY PANTS!!! And before I had realized it, after I had taken my shoes off, I got some on my foot! Sooo Gross!!!!

So I had to clean my shoes, wash my jeans, clean my floor & wash my feet. All because I didn't pick up Snoopy's poop!

And my cat just puked on my carpet. Figures.

I KNOW!!

2008-06-11T22:47:00.000-07:00

I can't f-n spell! And spell check doesn't always catch it! Whatever!! If you get the gist, that's all I care about!

CAUTION: Sappy & Slightly Mushy

2008-06-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is mine & Terry's 9 year anniversary! I can believe it. They truly have been 9 wonderful years. Don't get me wrong it's not always been hearts & flowers. We can both be difficult, pissy people. But I tell you this I love him more today than I did when we got married. And believe me I was nuts about him! So I'm dedicating this blog to Terry and some of the things I love about him.

*He's a love & touch whore! He NEEDS me to rub his head or his feet. Basically as long as I'm touching him he's content.

(nothing naughty people)*

*He's so funny! Seriously you people have no idea!*

*He has a beard.*

*Everything he does he does to insure that we have a good life.*

*When he wakes up he's so cute! His hair is standing up, his clothes are messed up and he's all goofy.*

*He's so good to me.*

*He thinks I'm funny and pretty. (Thank the Gods!)*

*He's smart & great for conversation.*

*He's my Lobster! My soul mate. My everything!*

Heather Love's Terry!

Pictures!!

2008-06-08T12:10:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pics. It's such a cute house.

The road/driveway leading to the house. I love this fence!

The front door. The bush has got to go!

Terry helping the home inspector.

Nice open floor plan.

And the back yard. The kennel goes, I think. We wouldn't use it anyway. Snoopy is far to spoiled. It's not hugh (the yard) but it's big enough for a couple of dogs to enjoy and maybe a kid or 2! hehe!

Everything happens for a reason.

2008-06-08T11:25:00.000-07:00

When Terry came home on Thursday night we had a nice long heart to heart about the house and our station in life. We decided that he would try one or two more things but if they didn't produce any results than we would not proceed with THIS house. After all we couldn't really afford it anyway.

So on Friday (after I had posted my blog) Ter calls the realtor, Gary, and gives him the bad news. Gary tells Ter "It's okay, this happens sometimes. If you want to keep looking we will" Great Guy! AND we wouldn't even lose or "Earnest" money. SWEET!!

Then around 5ish that afternoon we get a call from "Evil Loan Officer" who tells us that he'll talk to his manager and see what he can do about what has happened and that the loan that the first loan officer had set up was a really bad one anyway. I won't bore you with the details of it but it was very impractical for us and would end up hurting us in the long run money wise.

I've said it time & time again: Everything happens for a reason. EVERYTHING!!

Anyway, had we not been switched to "Evil Loan Officer" whom I'll now call Ben, we would have been screwed. We'd have moved in to that house only to find we couldn't afforded it! Needless to say our sadness has been replace by relief. Thanks Ben!

So on to the good news. Ben crunched some numbers and has made the loan possible for us. Payments we can afford. It looks like we may be back on track. However I will not get my hopes up this time. If we get it Awesome! If we don't it's just as well. There will be other houses.

Loss and Acceptance

2008-06-06T12:33:00.000-07:00

When Terry called me yesterday morning to break the bad news, I was very distraught to say the least. I didn't realize until that moment how much owning our own home meant to me. I was still on the fence about the whole thing. So much responsibility. So much out of our own pocket expenses. Scary stuff. I was excited and on board but I would have been fine either way.

When we went to the house to have it inspected, I fell in love with that cute little house even more. I was placing furniture, hanging pictures, ripping up linoleum and putting down newer flooring, building shelves in the garage, doing yard work and redoing bathrooms. All in my head of course. It was my new home.

Terry is doing all he can to figure out a way we can get this house but it seems quite futile. I think we have lost our house. Stupid, evil, bankman!! I really feel bad for the sellers. That house has been on the market for a few months now and to think that it's selling and then not, must be as heartbreaking as what we're going through.

Before we found this house we had decided to wait a couple of years to buy a home. Save some money, learn the area, get a few raises, you know. I told Ter that if we do indeed lose this house that I want to wait. He really wants our own home and I don't think he can help himself when it comes to looking but I don't want to be unprepared like this again.

Such as Life!

My heart in breaking

2008-06-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

We got the house inspected yesterday and it passed with flying colors. We met a few of our neighbors. Very nice people. I took pictures. I all but started moving our shit in.

Terry talks to our EVIL loan guy this morning and tells him that the original person we talked to misquoted us on the about our monthly mortgage payments. By $250 dollars. Now Terry & I are doing well here but we are by no means rich. $250 dollars is still ALOT of money. At the original monthly payments we would have been stretched a little thin but still ok.

I know I said that if for some reason we didn't get this house I would except that but now that we may not I'm devastated. It truly is so perfect for us:

1. It's the only place we've looked at that doesn't have a fireplace. I don't want a fireplace.

2. It's got the right amount of bedrooms and bathrooms. 3 & 2.

3. It's got a nice little yard.

4. And a Garage.

5. It fits us. If you know us at all you can look at this house and go "Of course this is Terry & Heather's house. It's Adorable!!"

6. Steph wants to come live with us for a while but she has a big dog who need a yard. We can't have him in an apartment.

7. It's on a dead-end, quite little street.

There's more I'm just to upset to keep listing.

Terry is going to try to find a different lender or something. He's so pissed. As he should be! If we have to stop now we will be out $2500ish (I think). $400 for the inspection and $2000 for the "Earnest" payment. For those who don't know, that is a good faith payment that the realtor holds on to till the house is sold (to us) saying that we defiantly are going to buy and that we won't flake out on the sellers.

The thing is WE don't want to flake out! We really want this house. This is the Banks fault! We were miss quoted. We started this whole precess because of what the bank told us!

Why can't I have a really rich, unknown, about to die relative that wants to leave me a truck-load of money?